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When you need time out
“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” ~Audrey Hepburn The holidays are in full swing, giving us plenty of opportunities to gather with others. And that’s not a bad thing. Current research shows that maintaining an active social life is essential to our physical and mental wellbeing — right up there with exercising and eating healthy meals. Spending time with friends lifts my spirit and helps dispel my worries for a while. But as much as I enjoy good company, sometimes I get overwhelmed by other people’s energy. That’s…
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Riffing on a recipe
“Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need to look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own.” ~Julia Child One of my favorite cold-weather recipes is a spicy posole that was published in the “Pantry Raid” section of Better Homes and Gardens magazine more than 10 years ago. I’ve made this Mexican stew so often — sometimes trying my own variations — that I don’t need to make a list of the ingredients I’ll need before heading to the grocery store. Mastering any technique takes practice, whether you’re whipping up an omelette, knitting a scarf, or building a house. But as Julia Child advised, there’s…
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Goodwill and gratitude, all year long
“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” ~Zig Ziglar Peace on earth, goodwill to all. Lately I’ve been wondering why these sentiments are limited to specific dates on the calendar. Last month, for instance, we all counted our blessings before slicing the Thanksgiving turkey, but resumed the habit of complaining about everything from corrupt politics to lousy football teams as soon as the good china was cleared from the table. As Christmas approaches, our hearts soften again. We mail greeting cards declaring our hope for humanity and the belief that goodness will triumph over evil. We…
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What we remember
“Memory fades, memory adjusts, memory conforms to what we think we remember.” ~Joan Didion When you repeat an old story at a family gathering, your parent or another relative might say, That’s not exactly how it happened. In my memoir workshops, we spend a fair amount of time discussing how memories are altered over time. Quite often, our recollection of an event is different from someone else’s, especially if the story involves a perpetrator and a victim. This idea applies to humorous stories as well as traumatic ones. Some of us might believe that a particular experience — or how we remember it — defines who we are. But as…
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Getting over ourselves
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~Rick Warren Socrates said that “the unexamined life” isn’t worth living. But self-absorption isn’t such a good thing, either. Self-absorption can be a symptom of living in fear or uncertainty — or spending too much time alone. And there was plenty of that going on during the first year of the pandemic. Thankfully, we’re finally stepping outside our comfort zones to renew our sense of community. When we stop obsessing over our own worries and problems, we open ourselves to others. We start paying attention to what’s going on around us — not just within us. It’s a big…
