Choices and decisions
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Willing to stand out
“You’ve got to be willing sometimes to stand alone. You’ve got to be willing to piss some people off. You’ve got to be willing to look different. Sound different. Be different. And those are risks that many of us are not willing to take.” ~Iyanla Vanzant Human beings are wired to belong. We want to feel accepted by our family. We gravitate toward friends who share our lifestyle, moral standards, and viewpoints. We thrive in a tribe. Yet each of us also has a different set of experiences and personal opinions. One of the gifts of maturity is learning to value authenticity — and individuality — in ourselves and others.…
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The freedom to decide
At first glance, today’s quote got me thinking about democracy and our duty to vote in our elections. But then I thought about how “our ultimate freedom” extends far beyond politics. Every single day, our ultimate freedom is expressed in the way we use our talents; what we choose to eat or drink; how we dress or decorate; what we read; how we care for our health; how we treat others and how we allow others to treat us. Just for starters. Every day, we make life-enhancing decisions, including how we spend our time and with whom. We often take this “ultimate freedom” for granted. Sometimes we settle for what’s…
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Adjusting our perspective
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou Whether I’m writing my own life stories or coaching others who are writing theirs, I’m amazed at how often we allow our experiences to define us. We might blame our suffering on bad luck (or someone else) and stop trying to improve the situation. Or we might label ourselves as “survivors” who had the courage to overcome a personal challenge or tragedy. Writing about our lives in a journal motivates us to take a closer look at how far we’ve come. We can view negative experiences from…
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
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Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective. Putting their own needs first, they hear only what they want to hear. They rarely question if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They’re often convinced that their beliefs and opinions are the Universal Truth — and can’t understand why other people are sometimes at odds with…
