Self-care
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Everything you love
“I am all the things I have ever loved.” ~Toni Morrison, American author Last year I coached a journaling workshop titled List Yourself. As the title suggests, we filled our journals with lists of all kinds — favorite films, accomplishments, pet peeves, people who’ve inspired or helped us, places we’d like to visit, and so on. The practice of list-making might seem simplistic at first, but it can lead to profound self-awareness and discovery. If you make a list of all the things you love, for instance, you’ll see a life-affirming self-portrait taking shape on the page — just as today’s quote suggests. Furthermore, if you’re feeling blue, listing your…
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Are you putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson Like a lot of people who know better, I often put the needs, dreams, or wishes of others before my own. I allow myself to remain stuck in second place. Even if someone lets me off the hook and gives me “permission” to put myself first, I might feel guilty when I do so. It gets tricky sometimes, because I truly enjoy helping others, especially the people I love. I want to be generous, agreeable, and useful. Somewhere between…
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Be kind to yourself
“I dreamed I called you on the telephone to say: Be kinder to yourself.” ~Adrienne Rich, poet and essayist In her hit song, “Harshest Critic,” Allison Ponthier asks: “Why is ‘being good to myself’ for someone else?” and “Who’s the harshest critic in the room?” I think we all know the answer. Most of us are incredibly hard on ourselves. On one hand, constructive self-criticism can be helpful at times (though a true narcissist would disagree). Most of us learn from our mistakes or oversights when we’re willing to admit them and repair the damages. We can grow from the soil of what went wrong. But if we get stuck…
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Rescue mission
“I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.” ~Anna Quindlen Who hasn’t wished to be “rescued” at one time or another? Who hasn’t felt like a victim of circumstance? It’s always tempting (and probably instinctive) to blame outside forces when things go wrong. When life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped or planned, we can point a finger at our scary parents, family history, the economy, bad weather, construction traffic, the government, unforeseen events, or even lousy genes. …
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Spoil yourself
“Self-care is about putting yourself first in a world that romanticizes overwork and overextension, a difficult thing to learn if you are used to people-pleasing. It’s about crafting healing routines as rituals for better health.” ~Maria Delblassie Here’s something to think about as Valentine’s Day approaches … You won’t have the energy to fully love and care for others until you’ve learned to love and care for yourself. When you look at it that way, you realize that self-care isn’t selfish. This is especially important for parents of young children as well as caregivers of elderly parents. (Been there, done both.) Self-care means taking time out for a nap or…
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The heart of the matter
