Civility and manners

  • Civility and manners,  Friendship and relationship advice

    How to be impeccable

    “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz Gossip. Who hasn’t been guilty of spreading it at one time or another? Though we all know better, we might be tempted to share private information that we shouldn’t share. Whether that information is true or not isn’t the point. The point is: If it’s not our business, it isn’t ours to share with others. Before we speak — about anything — it helps to question our own…

  • Civility and manners,  Communication,  social skills

    Listening skills

    “One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan, author I’ve always been interested in how communication works — or doesn’t work — in our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) More often than not, however, I notice that other people are so focused on what they want to say next that they aren’t really listening to…

  • Civility and manners,  Friendship and relationship advice

    Friendship lessons from the Forest

    “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Today’s quote is an old favorite of mine — and it merits repeating. Each time I read it, I recall another friendship lesson I’ve learned through trial and error. Years ago, when my son was a kid, we’d socialize periodically with the parents of his friends. We’d have family potlucks and parties in our homes, with most of us taking turns to host. After a while, some of the parents stopped hosting, though they’d happily attend when other parents initiated a gathering. Eventually, the…

  • Civility and manners,  Communication

    Active listening

    “Active listening and communication will aid you in the ability to understand and relate to others’ feelings and circumstances.” ~Shannen Zitz, Prevention magazine Have you noticed lately that most people simply wait for others to stop talking so that they can start reciting their own monologues? That’s not active listening. What does it mean to be an active listener? Active listeners are curious and have a sincere interest in other people. They hush their own egos and pay attention when other people speak; they’re not preoccupied with themselves. Active listening requires discipline. It means we have to focus on the content of what the other person is saying — and…

  • Civility and manners,  Inspirational quotes,  Personal growth

    Choices, choices

    “Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. We are what we chose to be.” ~Graham Brown Choices have consequences, as today’s quote reminds us. Every day we make choices that recreate or reinforce who we are — or even change the course of things. Even our most personal choices have a ripple effect. The friends we choose, for example, have a powerful influence on our habits, beliefs, and even our reputation. (As Mom used to say, “You’re judged by the company you keep.”) On a larger scale, every political vote we cast directly affects the lives of others in our community,…