Civility and manners
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Herd mentality
“Sheep only need a single flock, but people need two: One to belong to and make them feel comfortable, and another to blame all of society’s problems on.” ~James Rozoff When I was a kid, my parents often discussed politics and watched talk shows featuring guests with opposing viewpoints. They subscribed to (and read) both local and national newspapers. The three of us enjoyed rehashing important issues around the dinner table, giving me an opportunity to learn what I thought and valued during those discussions. I was encouraged to develop my own opinions — even if they didn’t mirror those of my parents. Herd mentality was not encouraged. My folks…
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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Bad manners and social graces
“Sometimes, to have good manners means putting up with other people’s bad manners.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. American author Emily Post advised that having good manners isn’t just a matter of using a dinner napkin or refraining from passing gas in public. Courtesy, she said, is all about being “sensitive to the feelings of others” and putting them at ease. Civility is another word for kindness in action. A lot of people have complained lately about the general increase in rude, insensitive behavior — on the road, in restaurants, in politics, in grocery stores, and even among friends. If we’re not careful, boorish behavior will become our cultural norm (if…
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The challenge
“A part of kindness consists in loving some people more than they deserve.” —Joseph Joubert It’s so easy to be nice to like-minded friends and others who are kind to us. Yet the real test of our character is how we treat the folks who aren’t members of our fan club — especially those who hurt us or disagree with our viewpoints. I purchased the lawn sign in this photo because the message seemed like a breath of fresh air in our country’s contemptuous political climate. And I’m sorry to admit that, in the privacy of my home, I’ve said some nasty, judgmental things about others whose opinions differ from…
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain Yes, flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that “people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive.” Better yet, compliments can make a motivational difference. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re more likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. At the same time, when other people tell us we look nice or that we’ve done a great job, we tend to think positive thoughts about them, too. Paying a sincere compliment is an act…
