Oakland Press columns
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Friendly advice from Pooh Corner
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Lately there’s been a lot of press about the “epidemic of loneliness” in America. Apparently, despite our social media connections, we’re not fully engaging with others in healthy, three-dimensional ways. Here’s the deal: Good relationships require initiation and effort. Too often, I’ve seen others hang back in silence and blame their loneliness on others — because others don’t reach out to them. Maybe they fear rejection. Maybe they’re too shy. Or maybe they’re just too busy to initiate an actual social plan. (“Let’s get…
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“Finding Your Grandparenting Style” in The Oakland Press
“If I’d known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first.” ~Lois Wyse About three years ago, I was thrilled to add “Grandma” to my resume. But I couldn’t help but wonder: Had my childcare skills gotten rusty? What makes a good grandparent? I didn’t worry as much about practical issues like choosing a car seat or a portable stroller. But I understood the fine line between hovering and supporting — and I wasn’t sure how to get it right. After doing a little research, I learned there are five key styles of grandparenting. That’s the topic of my new column in The Oakland Press.…
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Goodbye to Mom’s house
“No matter how far we’ve come, our parents are always in us.” ~ Brad Meltzer Even after we’ve grown up and moved on, the homes of our parents still hold many of our family memories and stories. If you’ve lost both of your parents, you know that the process of selling their last home — and the things they’ve accumulated — is one of the toughest parts of the grieving process. Yet it can be therapeutic, too. My latest column in The Sunday Oakland Press Homefront section addresses this bittersweet topic. You’ll find it in the Sunday print edition tomorrow (March 5) or you can read it online here. ~CL
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How to manage holiday grief and loss
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow The winter holidays are in full swing. But if you’re grieving a loss, the festivities only amplify your pain and shine a light on the empty chair or chairs around your table. My column today in The Sunday Oakland Press offers tips on how to get through the holiday when you don’t feel like celebrating. I invited several therapists and grief counselors to share advice for everyone who’s mourning a loss this season. The column — “Empty Chairs at Christmas” — runs in the Homefront section…
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Unwrapping the stress of holiday giving
“Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Gift-giving can be an emotionally loaded topic, along with other social pressures of the Christmas season. If you’re on a tight budget, for instance, you might be focusing on how much you can spend — rather than the meaning or quality of the gifts you intend to give. What if you don’t have time to shop? What if you bought a gift for someone who doesn’t have one for you? Or what if you decide to stop giving holiday gifts this year? My feature article on handling the stress (and protocol) of holiday…
