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Putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson When I was younger, I often placed the wants and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Like other women I knew, I allowed myself to remain stuck in second place. Everyone else, it seemed, had greater needs, better ideas, or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even if someone gave me “permission” to put myself first, I felt guilty when I did so. Thankfully,…
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Off the beaten path
“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” ~Samuel Johnson Are you still following the same old paths and patterns that worked for a while — but aren’t serving you anymore? As creatures of habit, we often allow our routines to dictate how we spend our lives. We buy the same brand of coffee, eat at the same restaurants, follow the usual route with the dog, and wear the same outfits even though we have a closet stuffed with rarely worn clothing. And we wonder why the heck we’re bored with everything. Early fall is a great time to shake…
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Enough to share
“Love is something that if you give it away, you end up having more.” ~Malvina Reynolds For years I’ve been fascinated by the “law of abundance,” which some might dismiss as one of those woo-woo New Age theories. I think there’s something to it. In a nutshell, the abundance theory suggests that if you live generously, acting on the belief that there’s always plenty to share, you’ll attract more goodness in your life. In other words, the more you give away — whether it’s love, money, time, or produce from your garden — the more you get back. Conversely, if you’re stingy or overly protective of your own resources, you’re…
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Beginnings
“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” ~Fred Rogers On the drive from northern Michigan last week, I noticed a few maples showing blushes of red. And this week, the temperature in southeast Michigan is cooling down with the earlier sunsets. Sweater weather. As much as I appreciate the beauty of fall, these signals announce the end of long summer days and strike a melancholy chord in my heart. Autumn is an apt metaphor for aging. Autumn asks us to pause and take stock. How many seasons do we have left? Are we spending our time wisely and well? Are…
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any alliance. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
