Health & wellbeing
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Those who comfort us
“Do not believe that the person who is trying to offer you solace lives his life effortlessly among the simple and quiet words that might occasionally comfort you. His life also is filled with much hardship and sadness….But if it were otherwise, he could never have found these words.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke in Letters on Life I’ve been thinking a lot about grief, loss, and comfort in recent weeks. My mother-in-law died Saturday in her home, just a couple of weeks short of her 94th birthday. She was the widowed matriarch and pillar of a large family, a strong-willed woman who outlived her initial diagnosis after a stroke last year. My husband…
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Trusted friends
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” ~Virginia Woolf English author Virginia Woolf often celebrated the gift of friendship in her books and diaries. She knew how precious it is to have a friend or two who will listen to our worries, hopes, and dreams. As Woolf observed, that level of trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often rooted in years of shared history, values, and experience — and thrives in the rich soil of mutual support. If you’re feeling down, reach out to a trusted friend. Consider the friendships that enrich and support you now — and put them on your gratitude list this weekend.…
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Love and struggle
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It’s an active noun, like ‘struggle.'”~Fred Rogers All relationships evolve, change, and reshape themselves. In the early stages, we tend to idealize a new romantic partner as well as our new friends. But eventually we learn that no one can meet our expectations all of the time. The longer we know a person — and the more we grow — the more likely we’ll encounter conflicts and disappointments. Sometimes we’re called to face a crisis together. And sometimes we need extra support to handle a problem of our own. Fragile relationships won’t withstand the challenge — but the durable ones will. As Fred…
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any connection. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
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No comparison
“When you are content to be yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” ~Lao Tzu Ours is a culture of competition. We have televised sports 24/7 — not to mention countless game shows, dancing and singing competitions, and cooking and baking contests. Whatever you like to do, there’s probably a trophy for it. There’s another team to conquer; another score to beat. To be your best, you gotta top somebody else. It’s all fun and games, of course — unless we take it too seriously. Comparing and competing can be toxic. If we’re constantly trying to outperform someone else, we might lose track of what makes each…
