Events & news

  • Aging well,  Events & news,  Friendship and relationship advice,  Health & wellbeing

    Old friends

    Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — we move, change jobs, get married — it’s logistically impossible to remain close to every friend we’ve ever had. My dear friend Debbie and I touched on this topic yesterday. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our enduring friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few…

  • Events & news

    Validation

    “Just like children, our emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey This week I had lunch with a dear friend who’s a caring, first-rate conversationalist. How does she do it? For starters, she pays attention. She follows the details of my stories and acknowledges how I feel about the experiences I’ve just shared with her. I always feel heard, uplifted, and validated in her presence. Validation is key to every good conversation — spoken, typed, or written. To validate someone doesn’t mean we must agree with (or approve of) everything they tell us. It means that we…

  • Civility and manners,  Communication,  Events & news,  Photo stories

    When silence is golden

    “Tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” ~Angel Chernoff These days, I can barely stand to listen to political rhetoric, debates, or campaign speeches. Everyone has gotten so nasty; so cringe-worthy critical. Sometimes I’m tempted to turn away and risk being uninformed. But I know better. Often called “too sensitive,” I used to be devastated by criticism of any kind, whether it was directed at me or someone I cared about. Thanks to my freelance writing career, I’ve learned that constructive criticism — even rejection — can…

  • Events & news,  Poems to inspire,  the challenges of being original

    “Wild Geese”

    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination.” — Mary Oliver Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese” touches a tender place in my soul, and I often share it with students in my writing workshops. As a child in Sunday school, I was terrified of disappointing the punitive, restrictive God portrayed in our leather-covered bibles. No matter how “good” I was, or how closely I followed the rules, I still felt judged and unworthy. Today, I follow my moral compass, but I don’t allow fear to constrict my life. As Mary Oliver reminds me, we were all created to shine our own light; to find our purpose in…

  • Aging well,  Autumn,  Events & news,  Seasons

    Seasonal musings

    I’m back — after a short break from the whirlwind of October. But I’m not complaining — because I love fall weather. My energy always runs higher when the leaves change colors and “fly” before carpeting parks and lawns everywhere. One of my October highlights was a leaf-peeping tour of northern Michigan, early in the month. After Doug and I returned, it was time to celebrate the spooky season. I managed to fit in everything from the Detroit Zoo Boo with our grandson to Witches Night Out at Leon & Lulu, where I won a costume prize for my Stevie Nicks outfit. (There’s a photo of me with my witchy…