Where I'm published
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How to Know a Person
“Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills.” ~David Brooks As author David Brooks sees it, so much of our current national angst results from the “fraying of our social fabric.” Put simply, we’ve forgotten how to talk with each other. We’ve forgotten how to listen to each other. At the same time, too many of us feel unseen and misunderstood. Worse yet, mental health statistics show that we’re feeling lonelier than ever. Social media may have given us more connections — and nearly unlimited access to others — but the quality of those relationships…
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How to manage holiday grief and loss
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow If you’re grieving a loss, holiday festivities can feel especially painful and alienating. Last year I wrote a column on managing grief and loss during the holidays for The Sunday Oakland Press. For those who don’t subscribe to the newspaper and can’t open the article links, I’m reposting the column below. EMPTY CHAIRS AT CHRISTMAS, by Cindy La Ferle for The Oakland Press My mother died three months before Christmas eight years ago. Since my father had passed several years earlier, my first Christmas season without Mom…
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Life without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating eight years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of years ago, its message still applies today —…
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What will you be for Halloween?
“I knew who I was this morning, but I’ve changed my mind a few times since then.” ~Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland Even before October rolls around, some of us are already plotting our Halloween costumes. Ever since I was a kid, the idea of “dressing in disguise” has always intrigued me. Some therapists suggest that the masks or costumes you choose — no matter how old you are — might offer clues to your personality, goals, and dreams. In any event, they’re also a wonderful way to express your creativity. To read a short newspaper essay I wrote on this topic, please click here.
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Empty nesting
“It is not what you do for your children; it’s what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” ~Ann Landers It’s hard to believe that autumn officially starts on Sunday — and the new school year is now in full swing. Whether your kids have just started grade school or flown off to college, your parental routines are inevitably changing with the season. Today our son is a married man with a family of his own — yet the topic of launching our kids to adulthood remains close to my heart, especially this time of year. I’m reminded of an essay I wrote…
