relationships
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Glittering magical moments
“Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement. It would be wonderful if they came to us unsummoned, but particularly in lives as busy as the ones most of us lead now, that won’t happen. We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them, to love them, and to live, really live.” ~Anna Quindlen, A Short Guide to a Happy Life At the close of a busy summer, many of us like to review the highlights of the season. We might focus on the major milestones — weddings, graduations, birthdays, retirement parties, or family vacations. Likewise, when we chronicle…
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Watching what we say
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou While preparing for a personal essay workshop I’m coaching in September, I ran across some of my earlier notes about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are deliberately conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences; we don’t want to alienate them. The same is true when we’re talking with someone. Our tone of voice carries our intention, and everything we share out loud…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us wisely avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I was thinking recently about the gift of knowing a few trusted friends with whom I can speak freely about any topic. When…
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There’s a word for it
“When we love someone, we share things with words. We share poems. We share songs. We share our favorite books. Because if we can make enough language bridges between the two of us, our hearts and minds will begin to know each other better.” ~Martha Beck Cleaning out my desk last week, I ran across several folders stuffed with old greeting cards, notes, and letters. Some were from friends and family. There were Mother’s Day tributes from my son, letters of comfort sent after my mother died, Valentines from my husband, thank-you notes from friends. Another file contained encouraging letters from readers of my early newspaper columns — some typed,…
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Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails are essential boundaries: They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. At the same time, psychological boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. As today’s quote reminds us, once the Internet took possession of our…
