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Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?
“We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other. It is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.” ~Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund In popular culture, we give lip service to the importance of honoring our differences and celebrating our uniqueness. It’s a noble theme in song lyrics, novels, speeches, and essays — but how’s that really working for us? Deep down, we want others to appreciate our own special attributes. We want to be respected for our opposing points of view. (We’re…
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You be you
“Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…
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Complainers versus problem-solvers
“When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. Mentally healthy people avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD, The Five Keys to Interpersonal Success Are you a complainer or a problem-solver? According to behavioral research, if you spend a significant amount of time with complainers and doomsayers, you’re probably sporting a negative attitude, too. When complaining becomes the norm — at home, in the workplace, or in social circles — it’s hard to break the pattern. Negativity is as contagious as it is demoralizing. As renowned psychologist Susan Albers puts it, complaining is like a virus. It…
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The challenge
“A part of kindness consists in loving some people more than they deserve.” —Joseph Joubert It’s so easy to be nice to like-minded friends and others who are kind to us. Yet the real test of our character is how we treat the folks who aren’t members of our fan club — especially those who hurt us or disagree with our viewpoints. I purchased the lawn sign in this photo because the message seemed like a breath of fresh air in our country’s contemptuous political climate. And I’m sorry to admit that, in the privacy of my home, I’ve said some nasty, judgmental things about others whose opinions differ from…
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Deep listening
“How often do you offer your undivided attention to others? Do you inquire into how they’re doing, what’s happening in their world, or what they need to feel safe and happy? Or are you quick to talk about yourself and see how others might serve you?” ~John Amodeo, PhD One of the hallmarks of a great conversationalist is the ability to listen. Ideally, when someone asks what you’ve been up to lately, you hope they’ll pay attention to your answer and ask follow-up questions. Too often lately, most people seem eager to shut you up, derail your topic, and reroute the conversation back to themselves. How often have you walked…
