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Social Skills 101
“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” ~Dale Carnegie Years before Oprah made “life coach” a household term, my father followed the work of Dale Carnegie, one of America’s most prolific authors of self-improvement guides. Dad kept a well-thumbed copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People next to the wingback chair where he read nightly. Today, I believe Carnegie’s advice on how to be a great conversationalist and a thoughtful friend is among the best I’ve found. To read a column I wrote about this topic for The Oakland Press, please click here. Photo by Cindy La Ferle for MediaNews Group
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any connection. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
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How will you spend today?
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over other people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it, and find out the truth about who you are.” ~Anne Lamott Statistics show that social media abuse inhibits our creativity, triggers periods of depression, stirs feelings of inadequacy, and can fuel aggression — just for starters. We make some dubious trade-offs when our time is consumed by social media use. Not that we shouldn’t enjoy a few of…
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Look for the helpers
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” ~Fred Rogers As Mister Rogers reminded us, there’s always hope and healing wherever you find the helpers. Late last week, for instance, I had two minor emergencies (one more critical than the other) that sent me in search of medical help. Despite the stress of it all, I was amazed at how quickly two of my doctors were able to see me — almost immediately — when I called their offices for advice. I can’t begin to express…
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Life without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating eight years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of years ago, its message still applies today —…
