Redefining “family”

“Family was a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn’t, family that wasn’t family but was….It was possible to lack whole, honest love and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.” ~Deb Colette, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

The winter holidays traditionally shine a bright light on our family relationships. Sometimes that’s a beautiful thing, and sometimes it’s … complicated. (In yesterday’s post, I shared a column about coping with the loss of loved ones during the holidays.)

Whether it’s cultural or personal, this season carries an emotional load of expectations twice as heavy as Santa’s pack. Relatives we don’t see as often, know as well, or enjoy as much as our closest friends are typically obligated to make merry around holiday tables annually. In reality, few of us can replicate the cliched Norman Rockwell family Christmas — which might leave us with the not-so-subtle taste of disappointment.

In a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, 38% of the respondents said their stress and anxiety increased or doubled during the Christmas season. Why? The reasons listed include “lack of time, financial pressure, gift-giving” — and was topped by “family gatherings.” Today’s quote suggests we redefine “family” to include supportive folks who aren’t related to us, but have earned the designation with their love and care. That’s something to celebrate, too. ~Cindy La Ferle

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