Friendship and relationship advice
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost If you’ve ever offended a grudge-bearer, you know exactly how it feels to be unforgiven. The error you committed is chained forever to your ankle, and your relationship with the grudge-bearer is compromised, to say the least. Many years ago, I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited my husband and me to attend. Stressed and way overbooked at the time, I had forgotten…
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Some thoughts on gifting
“Giving doesn’t impoverish us; it makes us richer.” ~Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity Who doesn’t enjoy getting presents? There are many different gifting styles and practices — and psychotherapists have some interesting theories on that. Some people get a thrill out of selecting the perfect presents for their loved ones, while others simply don’t express their affection with material things. I know many people who discourage gift-giving because they don’t want to feel obligated to reciprocate. Others don’t have a budget to buy gifts, but will gladly receive them. All said and done, the gifts we treasure come from the heart — or are made by hand. A dear…
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How to be impeccable
“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz Gossip. Who hasn’t been guilty of spreading it at one time or another? Though we all know better, we might be tempted to share private information that we shouldn’t share. Whether that information is true or not isn’t the point. The point is: If it’s not our business, it isn’t ours to share with others. Before we speak — about anything — it helps to question our own…
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Are you putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson Like a lot of people who know better, I often put the needs, dreams, or wishes of others before my own. I allow myself to remain stuck in second place. Even if someone lets me off the hook and gives me “permission” to put myself first, I might feel guilty when I do so. It gets tricky sometimes, because I truly enjoy helping others, especially the people I love. I want to be generous, agreeable, and useful. Somewhere between…
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How Karma works
“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them.” ~Elbert Hubbard We’ve all met people we don’t like. Sometimes our dislike stems from a series of hurtful, negative experiences. And other times it simply boils down to bad chemistry or a personality clash. In any event, people usually “sense” when we don’t care for them — even when we try to pretend otherwise. Not surprisingly, those feelings are reciprocated, and the distance between us grows. On the other hand, if we have positive, loving feelings toward someone, they’ll feel the love too. Consider the folks whose affection for you is enthusiastic and unconditional — the ones…
