Friendship and relationship advice

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Personal growth,  Positivity,  Rumi

    Luminosity

    “Look carefully around you and recognize the luminosity of souls. Sit beside those who draw you to that.” ~Rumi Other people’s moods — and viewpoints — are contagious. In fact, there’s a clinical study suggesting that we become like the five people with whom we spend most of our time. (This might explain why so many married couples and lifelong best friends actually resemble each other.) According to this theory, if your spouse and peer group are serial pessimists and complainers, you might be one too. It’s also likely that you share the same political views. Psychological studies aside, I’m always drawn to folks who spread their sunshine and draw…

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Love & Valentine's Day,  Valentine's Day quotes

    Love defined

    “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Long before the first chocolate truffle was invented, poets and philosophers have tried to describe the meaning and essence of love. While I’m not in the habit of sprinkling Bible passages in my conversation, today’s quote remains the very best definition of love I’ve ever found. In…

  • Civility and manners,  Friendship and relationship advice

    The whole cookie

    “Every healthy relationship is a feast of affection and giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.” ~Shannon Thomas It’s nearly impossible to be part of an extended family or any type of social group without experiencing a few relationships that are off-balance in some way. You know you’re in a one-sided relationship if you’re consistently making efforts for another person but getting only “crumbs” in return. Balanced relationships make us feel seen, nurtured, and supported. They’re built on a level foundation of giving and taking. As today’s quote suggests, we’ll have more of these relationships if we offer our loving care and…

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Personal growth,  Photo stories

    Sincerity

    “Sincerity is an openness of heart. We find it in very few people. What we often see is only an artful pretense to win the confidence of others.” ~La Rochefoucauld, French philosopher There was a time when the phrase “I love you” was almost sacred. We saved it for rare and precious moments with lovers, spouses, our kids, and our closest friends. Today, “I love you” (or the Hollywood style, “Love you!”) is tossed around casually in text messages or shouted across parking lots and other public places — even to folks who haven’t fully earned our complete devotion. Love for humanity is a wonderful thing, and yes, sincere affection…

  • Aging well,  Events & news,  Friendship and relationship advice,  Health & wellbeing

    Old friends

    Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — we move, change jobs, get married — it’s logistically impossible to remain close to every friend we’ve ever had. My dear friend Debbie and I touched on this topic yesterday. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our enduring friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few…