Friendship and relationship advice
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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Sitting it out
“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so that you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to you because they believe in your capacity to know their darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” ~ Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage Being fully human means you’re going to experience bouts of disappointment, anger, and sadness. Someone will say or do something that hurts or alienates you. Or you might say something insensitive and hurtful to someone else. As hard as we try to avoid emotional collisions, we all stumble on conflicts we can’t fix,…
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain Yes, flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that “people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive.” Better yet, compliments can make a motivational difference. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re more likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. At the same time, when other people tell us we look nice or that we’ve done a great job, we tend to think positive thoughts about them, too. Paying a sincere compliment is an act…
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The loneliness epidemic
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh According to U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D., loneliness is a health crisis in America. In his 2023 report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” he notes that the lack of in-person social activity leads to serious health outcomes, including heart disease, dementia, and diabetes. Apparently, despite our many social media connections, Americans aren’t fully engaging with others in healthy, three-dimensional ways. Here’s the deal: Good relationships require initiation and effort. Too often, we hang back in silence and blame our loneliness on others…
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Bullies and boundaries
“When you set healthier relationship standards in your life, some people will take it personally. That’s their issue, not yours. The distance you need isn’t against them; it’s for you. It’s a boundary, not a grudge.” ~Steve Maraboli Bullying is demoralizing, and it doesn’t just happen to kids on the playground or in politics. In our daily lives we sometimes encounter folks who don’t play fair. Social bullies aren’t necessarily loud or obvious, and sometimes they don’t even recognize their own patterns of bullying. But you know ’em when you see ’em. Social bullies are the ones who need to have the upper hand — in a variety of ways.…
