Friendship and relationship advice

  • Communication,  Friendship and relationship advice,  Where I'm published

    The new rules of friendship

    “Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.” “You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing.”  ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web  While researching the topic of friendship for an article several years ago, I discovered the work of Irene S. Levine, PhD, the popular psychologist and author known as the Friendship Doctor. Soon after, Irene became my go-to expert when I needed quotes and tips for relationship articles or columns. She also became a treasured and supportive friend. Today, nearly every time I thumb through a national magazine, I see Irene quoted in…

  • Change and challenge,  Cheryl Richardson,  Friendship and relationship advice

    Listening is a healing art

    “People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” ~Cheryl Richardson I felt totally unmoored when my primary care physician announced his retirement last year. For more than 25 years, Dr. Paul managed my healthcare and provided first-rate referrals to the specialists I needed, including the orthopedic surgeon who replaced both of my hips. Most of all, my good doctor listened with care. He took my concerns seriously. Luckily, my new primary care doctor is a compassionate listener too. Though I’m new to her practice, I’m pleased with the relationship we’re building. Likewise, I appreciate those rare friends and family members who listen deeply. As Cheryl Richardson suggests in today’s quote,…

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Oakland Press columns,  Personal growth

    Friendly advice from Pooh Corner

    “You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Lately there’s been a lot of press about the “epidemic of loneliness” in America. Apparently, despite our social media connections, we’re not fully engaging with others in healthy, three-dimensional ways. Here’s the deal: Good relationships require initiation and effort. Too often, I’ve seen others hang back in silence and blame their loneliness on others — because others don’t reach out to them. Maybe they fear rejection. Maybe they’re too shy. Or maybe they’re just too busy to initiate an actual social plan. (“Let’s get…

  • Community spirit,  Friendship and relationship advice

    How’s your social life?

    “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” ~Esther Perel, author and psychotherapist Are you looking for ways to increase your longevity? Gathering with good friends should be part of your lifestyle plan. Medical experts report that people who socialize regularly are healthier — both mentally and physically. Loneliness can shorten your life span, but keep in mind that difficult or unfulfilling relationships also undermine your wellbeing — and there’s plenty of research to support the fact. “Relationships defined by drama and conflicts that never seem to get resolved, be it with family, friends or neighbors, all can add a boat-load of stress to daily life,” explains…

  • Civility and manners,  Friendship and relationship advice

    When mistakes are made

    “Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made…. Everyone who remembers Bill Clinton’s presidency associates that phrase with the Monica Lewinsky debacle. But it’s been around a lot longer. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote suggests, a real apology is an offering. An apology elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt, while failing to take responsibility for your errors…