approval seeking

  • approval seeking,  Art & Creativity,  Health & wellbeing

    No comparison

    “When you are content to be yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” ~Lao Tzu Ours is a culture of competition. We have televised sports 24/7 — not to mention countless game shows, dancing and singing competitions, and cooking and baking contests. Whatever you like to do, there’s probably a trophy for it. There’s another team to conquer; another score to beat. To be your best, you gotta top somebody else. It’s all fun and games, of course — unless we take it too seriously. Comparing and competing can be toxic. If we’re constantly trying to outperform someone else, we might lose track of what makes each…

  • approval seeking,  David Whyte,  Poetry

    “Sweet Darkness”

    “You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in.” — David Whyte Many of you told me how much you enjoyed the post featuring Mary Oliver’s “Invitation” this week — so I’ll continue our celebration of National Poetry Month with an old favorite. Sometimes the right poem can work its magic immediately. And sometimes it depends on what you’re going through at the time you read it. David Whyte’s “Sweet Darkness” is one such poem for me. Revisiting it today, I am struck this time by the sheer power of its last three lines. This heart-stopping poem reminds us that loneliness could be an invitation to…

  • Adventure and exploration,  approval seeking,  Motivation

    Are you feeling stuck?

    “You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.” ~Abraham Maslow This is the time of year when we’re most likely to feel stagnant or mired in routine. The calendar tells us it’s spring, but the weather isn’t cooperating yet. Cabin fever aside, we can feel stuck any time of the year. For instance, we might keep making the same recipes for dinner because we’re not inspired to find new ones. Or we might feel stuck in the house when we can’t summon the energy to initiate plans with friends. Likewise, we can feel stuck if we don’t speak our minds because we’d rather appear…

  • Animals,  approval seeking,  Domestic arts,  Friendship and relationship advice

    Get comfortable

    ‘People aren’t longing to be impressed. They’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how old.” ~Shauna Niequist, quoted in Bella Grace Most of us spend too much time trying to make things perfect — especially when we’re getting ready to entertain. Maybe we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that a home should always look worthy of a magazine shoot or an Instagram series — and we’re ashamed if ours doesn’t. “I’d never have company if I thought…

  • approval seeking,  Competition,  Creativity and discovery

    Got enemies?

    “You have enemies? Why, it is the story of everyone who has done a great deed or created a new idea. It is the cloud which thunders around everything that shines. Fame must have enemies, as light must have gnats. Do not bother yourself about it. Keep your mind serene as you keep your life clear.” ~Victor Hugo There’s another similar quote that’s often misattributed to Winston Churchill. It goes something like this: “If you have enemies, that’s good. It means you stand for something.” Popularity is overrated. If you’re living authentically and being true to yourself, it’s nearly impossible to be loved by everyone all the time. But if…

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