approval seeking
-
Get comfortable
‘People aren’t longing to be impressed. They’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how old.” ~Shauna Niequist, quoted in Bella Grace Most of us spend too much time trying to make things perfect — especially when we’re getting ready to entertain. Maybe we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that a home should always look worthy of a magazine shoot or an Instagram series — and we’re ashamed if ours doesn’t. “I’d never have company if I thought…
-
Got enemies?
“You have enemies? Why, it is the story of everyone who has done a great deed or created a new idea. It is the cloud which thunders around everything that shines. Fame must have enemies, as light must have gnats. Do not bother yourself about it. Keep your mind serene as you keep your life clear.” ~Victor Hugo There’s another similar quote that’s often misattributed to Winston Churchill. It goes something like this: “If you have enemies, that’s good. It means you stand for something.” Popularity is overrated. If you’re living authentically and being true to yourself, it’s nearly impossible to be loved by everyone all the time. But if…
-
Gold stars
“Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to give myself a gold star for being ordinary, and maybe one of these days I’ll give myself a gold star for being extraordinary — for persisting. And maybe one day I won’t need to have a star at all.” ~Sue Bender, Plain and Simple Stars are shining everywhere this time of year. In our early grade school years, teachers rewarded our best efforts with gold star-shaped stickers. Remember the delicious rush of achievement you felt every time your test came back with a bright gold star at the top? No matter how old we are, most of us still strive for…
-
Random acts of authenticity
“Authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about your actions.” ~Jess Lively, The Lively Show Once in a while, it’s healthy to question our own motives. How often do we take a beautiful photo that we don’t intend to publish or show anyone else? How often do we create a work of art, write a story, redecorate a room, or buy a “no-reason” gift for someone — just because it makes us happy? How often do we give generously of our time or resources without expecting acknowledgement, praise, approval, or something else in return? Just for today, try creating or doing something just for yourself. Start by taking…
-
Courage, kindness, and lawn signs
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~Rumi Last month, I retrieved a nonpartisan lawn sign from my garage and placed it near the side entrance of our home. The sign, shown above, simply encourages us to “BE KIND” — a gentle piece of advice we could all use during a terribly divisive election season. But until last week, I swore I wasn’t going to display a sign for a presidential candidate on my lawn this year. I had dozens of reasonable excuses for that decision, starting with the fact that I didn’t want to offend my neighbors with opposing viewpoints. I…
