Personal growth

  • Aging well,  Personal growth,  Poetry,  the challenges of being original

    Following your inner compass: “The Journey”

    “And there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own.” — Mary Oliver As we age, many of us — especially women — face the prospect of caregiving after our kids are grown. We might have to nurse an injured spouse or elderly parents; sometimes all at the same time. As an only child, I had full responsibility for the care of my parents, and learned to answer calls for help at an early age. After my widowed mother became ill with heart disease and vascular dementia, I spent nearly 10 years focusing on her physical health and emotional wellbeing — while neglecting my own. I don’t…

  • Personal growth,  Photo stories

    The dead-end road

    “Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out.” ~Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things Have you ever found yourself totally blown off course by relatively minor problems and petty annoyances? (Been there, done that.) Then again, you’ve probably faced some major challenges and losses with bravery — and moved forward with grace. The road of life isn’t always smooth for anyone. But today’s quote suggests that every single one of us has a choice when encountering road blocks. We can feel sorry for ourselves and stay stuck — or…

  • Motivation,  Personal growth,  Photo stories

    The complaint department

    “When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. Most people avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD, The Five Keys to Interpersonal Success Are you a complainer or a problem-solver? According to behavioral research, if you hang out with folks who always gripe and complain, you might find yourself sporting a negative attitude and extra frown lines in the middle of your forehead. When complaining becomes the norm — at home, in the workplace or in social circles — it’s hard to break the cycle. Negativity is both contagious and repellent. But spending time with positive people…

  • Adventure and exploration,  Personal growth,  Self-care

    Everything you love

    “I am all the things I have ever loved.” ~Toni Morrison, American author Last year I coached a journaling workshop titled “List Yourself.” As the title suggests, we made lists of all kinds — lists of favorite films, lists of accomplishments, lists of pet peeves, lists of people who’ve inspired or helped us, bucket lists, and so on. The practice of list-making might seem simplistic at first, but it leads to profound self-awareness and discovery — and also provides many “prompts” for blocked writers. If you make a list of all the things you love, for instance, you’ll see a life-affirming self-portrait taking shape on the page — just as…

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Oakland Press columns,  Personal growth

    Friendly advice from Pooh Corner

    “You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Lately there’s been a lot of press about the “epidemic of loneliness” in America. Apparently, despite our social media connections, we’re not fully engaging with others in healthy, three-dimensional ways. Here’s the deal: Good relationships require initiation and effort. Too often, I’ve seen others hang back in silence and blame their loneliness on others — because others don’t reach out to them. Maybe they fear rejection. Maybe they’re too shy. Or maybe they’re just too busy to initiate an actual social plan. (“Let’s get…