• Anne Lamott,  Personal growth,  Photo stories

    How will you spend today?

    “Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it, and find out the truth about who you are.” ~Anne Lamott Psychologists and researchers keep sounding the alarm: Social media abuse can inhibit our creativity, foster unhealthy competition, make us overly self-conscious, stir feelings of inadequacy, and fuel aggression — just for starters. According to these experts, we make some dubious trade-offs when our time is consumed by social…

  • Personal growth,  Photo stories

    Expectations

    It’s never a bad idea to hold ourselves and others to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But extremely high (or unrealistic) expectations are sometimes followed by disappointment. One small example: How many times have you dined at a trendy new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if you expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, you’re bound to feel letdown at some point. Or, as Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t directly in line with what is available…

  • Communication,  Family columnists,  Health & wellbeing,  Newspaper columnists

    Communication skills

    “Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Lately I’ve been thinking about communication — and what makes good communication. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had publishing jobs that required a lot of meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, one of my in-laws told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m much more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer to say less — or nothing — silence doesn’t help build relationships.…

  • Friendship and relationship advice,  Photo stories,  reciprocation,  relationships

    The right balance

     “Good relationships are built on mutual trust, mutual respect, and mutual effort.” ~Mona Sutphen I once read an article by a therapist who suggested that “imbalance” is often at the root of relationship trouble. When any relationship feels off, the therapist advised, it helps to do a reality check and consider what could be out of balance. Am I talking more than listening? Am I taking more than giving? Am I initiating social activities or just waiting for someone to call me? Understandably, we all have times when we fall short of being present in the ways people need us. Then again, sometimes we expect more than someone can give…

  • Civility and manners,  Kindness quotes,  Photo stories,  Politics

    The hard part

    “A part of kindness consists in loving some people more than they deserve.” —Joseph Joubert It’s so easy to be kind to like-minded friends and others who are nice to us. Yet the true test of our character is how we treat the folks who aren’t members of our fan club — especially those who hurt us or disagree with our views. Along those lines, today’s photo shows my new lawn sign. I think the message is a breath of fresh air in today’s vicious political climate. Regardless of what’s on the ballot or who’s running for office, the sign reminds us that kindness is a bipartisan choice we can…