Home & Family
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Open-hearted love
“We really have to understand the people we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step February is the month for posting thoughts about love. But I like to think of “love” as an all-encompassing word that wraps its meaning around more than romantic relationships. Love is the umbrella that shelters friendship and community. When we love our friends and neighbors, we want what’s best for them — not just ourselves.…
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Chaos? Bring it on!
“If chaos is a necessary step in the organization of one’s universe, then I was well on my way.” ~Wendelin Van Draanen Talk about chaos? Nearly every room in our house is being repainted, which means we’re living in a state of perpetual disorder. Following the schedule of our painters, we’ve been moving all of our stuff — including furniture — from room to room for the past two weeks. Last week, our living room looked like a ransacked junk shop while the painters worked in the dining room and kitchen. But after years of living through various home improvement projects (see page 14 in my book, Writing Home), I’ve…
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
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Redefining “family”
“Family was a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn’t, family that wasn’t family but was….It was possible to lack whole, honest love and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.” ~Deb Colette, The Secret Life of Prince Charming The holiday season begins soon, shining a bright light on our family relationships. Sometimes that’s a beautiful thing, and sometimes it’s … complicated. (In another post, I’ve shared a column about coping with the loss of loved ones during the holidays.) Culturally…
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Make your bed
“When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life Everything feels like it’s in a state of chaos right now. While there’s not much we can do about national and international turmoil, it helps to create order out of disorder in our homes. The effort it takes to launder your bed linens, for instance, is rewarded when you pull back your fresh sheets and retire for the night. I used to think that being tidy was overrated by professional organizers —…
