Home & Family
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
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Redefining “family”
“Family was a bigger word than I imagined, wide and without limitations, if you allowed it, defying easy definition. You had family that was supposed to be family and wasn’t, family that wasn’t family but was….It was possible to lack whole, honest love and connection from family in lead roles, yet to be filled to abundance by the unexpected supporting players.” ~Deb Colette, The Secret Life of Prince Charming The holiday season begins soon, shining a bright light on our family relationships. Sometimes that’s a beautiful thing, and sometimes it’s … complicated. (In another post, I’ve shared a column about coping with the loss of loved ones during the holidays.) Culturally…
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Make your bed
“When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, steady yourself with simple rituals. Make the bed. Water the plants. Rinse off your own bowl and spoon. Simplicity attracts calmness and wisdom.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life Everything feels like it’s in a state of chaos right now. While there’s not much we can do about national and international turmoil, it helps to create order out of disorder in our homes. The effort it takes to launder your bed linens, for instance, is rewarded when you pull back your fresh sheets and retire for the night. I used to think that being tidy was overrated by professional organizers —…
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Goodbye to Mom’s house
“No matter how far we’ve come, our parents are always in us.” ~ Brad Meltzer Even after we’ve grown up and moved on, the homes of our parents still hold many of our family artifacts, memories, and stories. After your last parent dies, selling their home — and everything they accumulated — is a difficult part of the grieving process. Yet it can be therapeutic, too. As we begin to empty my mother-in-law’s home, I’m reminded of a column I wrote for The Sunday Oakland Press after reflecting on the memory of selling my mother’s home. You can read it online here. ~CL
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Irish DNA
“We Irish prefer embroideries to plain cloth. To the Irish, memory is a canvas—stretched, primed, and ready for painting on. We love the “story” part of the word “history,” and we love it trimmed out with color and drama, ribbons and bows. Listen to our tunes, observe a Celtic scroll; we always decorate our essence.” ~Frank Delaney I’ve always been a storyteller. And every year on St. Patrick’s Day, I can recall the lyrics to half a dozen old Irish folk tunes. Strangers in shops and restaurants often ask if I’m Irish. In fact, my mother told me that I have “a bit of Irish” in me — but I…
