Friendship and relationship advice
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The art of gifting
“The act of giving something to others is an art of flowering your heart.” ~ Vinayak There are many different gifting styles and practices, and psychotherapists have some interesting theories on that. Some people get a thrill out of selecting presents for their loved ones, while others prefer not to express affection with material things. A few folks I know discourage gift-giving because they don’t want to feel obligated to reciprocate; others worry that they’ll select the wrong gift. Of course, some don’t have extra cash for gifting in their budget. The most thoughtful presents come from the heart, no strings attached. For instance, a friend of mine is a…
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What do you take for granted?
“We never know the worth of water until the well is dry.” ~Thomas Fuller, English historian, 1608 – 1661 The opposite of feeling grateful is taking someone or something for granted. Anything worth keeping needs our time, care, and attention — because nothing we have is truly guaranteed. You might want to try an exercise I’ve used in my journaling classes: Make a list of everything and everyone you value and would hate to lose. For instance, do you maintain and appreciate the items you own at home and rely on daily? Are you grateful to have a job or are you just putting in your time? Do you assume…
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Receiving
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown A lot has been written about “the law of abundance,” which suggests that everything you give comes back to you somehow. In short, givers get more than takers. Frugality has its merits, but a generous spirit is rewarded with an abundant slice of life. Yet we don’t talk as much about receiving. This is where things can get tricky. For example, you might feel embarrassed if someone buys you an unexpected gift or does a great favor. You might stress over how to reciprocate. Or, worse yet, you might even take the…
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Competition
“Inside the Great Mystery that is, we don’t really own anything. So, what is this competition we feel then, before we walk, one at a time, through the same gate?” ~Rumi Lately I’ve been thinking about competition. Is competition rooted in sibling rivalry or is it simply human nature? Do we compete because we lack something, feel inferior, or need validation? Is competition necessary for our survival? Do trophies and awards really matter? Are we all driven to win or outshine others? Growing up an only child, I learned that many folks — often those from larger families — expected me to be “spoiled” and stingy and attention-seeking. And so,…
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Owning our mistakes
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to justify them —…
