Friendship and relationship advice
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The heart of the matter
“When you love someone, you love the whole person as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.” ~Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina Most of us idealized love when we were young. If we were raised on fairy tales, for instance, we imagined marrying the perfect partner and living happily ever after. At the same time, we also held our friends and family members to impossibly high standards, and were disappointed when they didn’t behave like the best friends or families portrayed on TV sitcoms. As we mature, we discover that real love isn’t always picture-perfect; sometimes it gets as messy or as complicated as real…
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The feeling is mutual
“We really have to understand the people we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step It’s February — and I’ll be posting lots of good thoughts about love this month. But I like to think of “love” as an all-encompassing word that wraps its meaning around so much more than romantic relationships. Today, Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that real love means honoring the humanity…
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With or without family … party on!
“You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn’t depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.” ~Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society While holiday traditions are practically imprinted on our DNA, not all of us are able to continue them with our biological families — for a variety of reasons. As families change or move in different directions, so do our celebrations. I’m an only child from a small family. My parents are gone, and few of my close relatives live…
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Ditch the gloom
“Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things have a way of working out.” ~Gordon B. Hinckley We’ve all met a few chronic complainers and serial critics. If we spend enough time with these folks, we risk falling under the insidious spell of negativity and dissatisfaction. How much fun is that? Of course, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. (Yes, it’s infuriating.) As today’s quote suggests, if we aim for optimism most of the time, we’ll discover that life is less of a drag and our outlook improves. A negative attitude won’t resolve…
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While we can
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby There’s something especially thoughtful about sending a greeting card or buying someone a small gift for no special reason. And when you’re on the receiving end of such a surprise, it’s always a memorable moment. This is a lesson I learned from an old friend who loved sending “no reason” flowers when she was battling a terminal illness. But we don’t have to send cards or flowers to declare our love or friendship. There are dozens of other lovely, simple ways to express…
