Change and challenge
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What does it mean to age well?
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” ~Andy Rooney What does it really mean to age well? Our cultural view of aging is fraught with contradictions. It’s safe to say that each of us wants to live a good, long life — but we’d like to do so in perfect health with motivation and energy to spare. And while we’re at it, we’d prefer to erase our wrinkles and tighten those saggy chins and knees. We’d like to maintain the beauty and resilience of our youth while we earn the wisdom of our elder years.…
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A no-regrets guide to caregiving
“There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.” ~Rosalyn Carter As our loved ones age — and as we age — caregiving becomes a reality we must face, one way or another. I learned during the first year of my widowed mother’s illness that caregiving duties can take a toll on you, especially if you’re not prepared. Written in retrospect, my “No-regrets Guide to Caregiving” appears this week online in The Oakland Press, and in the September print issue of Vitality. You can read it here.…
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Who’s in control?
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free “She’s/He’s a control freak!” I hear the phrase all the time, and I’ll bet you do too. Anytime we encounter folks who can’t resist taking over the wheel, or get wigged out when things don’t go according to their plans, we call them control freaks. Control freaks typically insist on taking the lead, and will even clean up our mistakes while they explain how to do it better the next time. Control freaks can…
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Rescue mission
“I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.” ~Anna Quindlen Who hasn’t wished to be “rescued” at one time or another? Who hasn’t felt like a victim of circumstance? It’s always tempting (and probably instinctive) to blame outside forces when things go wrong. When life doesn’t turn out the way we’d hoped or planned, we can point a finger at our scary parents, family history, the economy, bad weather, construction traffic, the government, unforeseen events, or even lousy genes. …
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Listening is a healing art
“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” ~Cheryl Richardson I felt totally unmoored when my primary care physician announced his retirement last year. For more than 25 years, Dr. Paul managed my healthcare and provided first-rate referrals to the specialists I needed, including the orthopedic surgeon who replaced both of my hips. Most of all, my good doctor listened with care. He took my concerns seriously. Luckily, my new primary care doctor is a compassionate listener too. Though I’m new to her practice, I’m pleased with the relationship we’re building. Likewise, I appreciate those rare friends and family members who listen deeply. As Cheryl Richardson suggests in today’s quote,…
