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Expectations
It’s never a bad idea to hold ourselves and others to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But extremely high (or unrealistic) expectations are sometimes followed by disappointment. One small example: How many times have you dined at a trendy new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if you expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, you’re bound to feel letdown at some point. Or, as Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t directly in line with what is available…
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Looking on the bright side
“Our job is to find the positive in every situation and focus on that. What you focus on becomes more pronounced. When you zero in on the positive, that’s what you see and that’s where you live….People will not treat you less seriously because you refuse to share a worldview with the Grim Reaper.” ~Victoria Moran All too often lately, I catch myself complaining aloud and rehashing the same-old problems and worries. Just for starters, I’m tired of worrying about the current state of political turmoil and insanity and the future of our country. I’m tired of being disappointed in too many people. I’m tired of worrying about driving on…
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When one door closes …
“When certain people walk away from you, or certain opportunities close their doors on you, there is no need to hold on….Take it as a direct indication that these people, circumstances, or opportunities are not part of the next chapter in your life. It’s a sign that your growth requires someone different or something more, and life is simply making room.” ~Marc & Angel Hack Life I’ve faced a lot of closed doors, having worked in journalism for 40 years. The internet has changed this business in countless ways, closing down (or shrinking) many favorite print publications that regularly published my work. Like so many of my fellow journalists, I’ve…
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Your side of the fence
“So often we seek more fertile ground — that greener space on the other side of the fence. Where we fail to thrive and where we falter in our appreciation of the everyday is in this urge to be ‘there’ and not ‘here.'” ~Patti Digh, Your Daily Rock The fear of missing out — imagining that there’s something better going on somewhere else — is a real thing. It can feel like being in junior high again, making us wonder if there’s yet another party we haven’t been invited to. Even as adults, we spend hours on social media, tracking what other people do (or have) instead of enjoying our…
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Validation
“Just like children, our emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey This week I had lunch with a dear friend who’s a caring, first-rate conversationalist. How does she do it? For starters, she pays attention. She follows the details of my stories and acknowledges how I feel about the experiences I’ve just shared with her. I always feel heard, uplifted, and validated in her presence. Validation is key to every good conversation — spoken, typed, or written. To validate someone doesn’t mean we must agree with (or approve of) everything they tell us. It means that we…
