Health & wellbeing
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The nature of suffering
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality” ~Seneca Influenced by the work of Plato and Socrates, the Stoic philosopher Seneca believed that everyone should live in the present without feeling anxious about the future. Many emotional difficulties are self-imposed, Seneca suggested. His quote today reminded me that I often worry needlessly about the future — not to mention a list of other things beyond my control. I’m not alone. Everyone has worries that loom larger in their minds than is necessary. And we’ve all met some folks who’ve practically made a career out of physical or emotional suffering. But imagine instead what would happen if we didn’t dwell on…
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Pain management
“Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into something you are not.” ~Paulo Coehlo It’s easy to let our anger, sadness, or disappointment get the better of us at times. We’re only human. But some folks define themselves by their misfortune. They wear their emotional wounds like a badge of honor and seize every opportunity to throw a pity party. Nobody travels through this life without getting hurt, losing people they love, losing opportunities, and suffering trauma. Sometimes we lose faith in ourselves or others, or we lose our way and have to work harder to find our way back. But we can choose to grow from painful experiences or…
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It’s OK if you’re not busy
“If nothing’s working for you, if you feel as though you’re pushing forward against the grain, the most productive and proactive thing you can do is nothing. Nature is turning you inward, to gain power through peace, rather than outward to gain power through activity.” ~Martha Beck Sometimes I feel ashamed if I’m not being productive, even on a vacation. I still try to check my email and answer it, or take notes on projects I could work on later … Even if I’m only spinning my wheels, I want to believe I’m accomplishing something. I’m simply following the cultural norm. “I’m busy” isn’t just a catchphrase, after all. Most people…
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Who’s in control?
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free “She’s/He’s a control freak!” I hear the phrase all the time, and I’ll bet you do too. Anytime we encounter folks who can’t resist taking over the wheel, or get wigged out when things don’t go according to their plans, we call them control freaks. Control freaks typically insist on taking the lead, and will even clean up our mistakes while they explain how to do it better the next time. Control freaks can…
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How to comfort a grieving friend
“If you’re my age, you’ve probably had your heart broken many times. So it’s not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it.” ~Emma Thompson Losing our parents and other loved ones is a reality of life as we age — a reality that’s easier to face if we have a nurturing support system. But sometimes it’s hard to know how to help and comfort friends who are grieving a new loss. That’s the topic of my newest column in The Sunday Oakland Press. You’ll find it in the Homefront section in the print edition (July 2) or you…
