Friendship and relationship advice
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Ditch the gloom
“Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things have a way of working out.” ~Gordon B. Hinckley We’ve all met a few chronic complainers and serial critics. If we spend enough time with these folks, we risk falling under the insidious spell of negativity and dissatisfaction. How much fun is that? Of course, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. (Yes, it’s infuriating.) As today’s quote suggests, if we aim for optimism most of the time, we’ll discover that life is less of a drag and our outlook improves. A negative attitude won’t resolve…
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While we can
“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby There’s something especially thoughtful about sending a greeting card or buying someone a small gift for no special reason. And when you’re on the receiving end of such a surprise, it’s always a memorable moment. This is a lesson I learned from an old friend who loved sending “no reason” flowers when she was battling a terminal illness. But we don’t have to send cards or flowers to declare our love or friendship. There are dozens of other lovely, simple ways to express…
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Homecoming
“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays a while like an old friend you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it, and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since he last saw you.” ~Stephen King, Salem’s Lot Autumn was made for nostalgia. Last weekend, Doug and I hosted a party for several of our closest high school friends. The gathering was a homecoming of sorts,…
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The right balance
“Good relationships are built on mutual trust, mutual respect, and mutual effort.” ~Mona Sutphen Friendship experts suggest that “imbalance” is often at the root of relationship trouble. If a relationship feels off, it helps to consider what could be out of balance. Am I talking more than listening? Do I take more than I give? Am I initiating social activities or just waiting for someone to call me? Do I compromise or insist on controlling things? We all have times when we fall short of being present in the ways people need us. Then again, sometimes we expect more than others are able to give us. All said and done,…
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Emerson’s golden rule
“As we are, so we do; and as we do, so is it done to us. We are the builders of our fortunes.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Emerson is one of my heroes. A champion of self-reliance, this American essayist and lecturer had little sympathy for those who blamed their problems on other people or outside circumstances. He was ordained as a Unitarian minister in Boston in 1829, so it’s not surprising to hear echoes of the Golden Rule in today’s quote. (“In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” ~Matthew 7:12.) Emerson believed that personal responsibility is empowering. When we hold ourselves accountable for our…
