approval seeking,  Fashion,  Health & wellbeing


“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~Tyra Banks

“I don’t want to look as if I’m trying too hard,” a friend would say every time she chose an outfit for a special event. I believe she meant that she wanted her appearance to seem natural, not over the top. But she took the idea a little too seriously, and wouldn’t even wear a full costume to a Halloween party.

I’ve always cringed at the thought of calculated nonchalance, or pretending that you didn’t “try too hard” — for anything. Where’s the shame in shining your brightest light and giving others permission to do the same?

Furthermore, what message are you really sending when you aim to look as though you haven’t made an effort? Why in the world would you dull your shine for somebody else? ~CL

Throughout my career, I've worked as a book production editor, travel magazine editor, features writer, and weekly newspaper columnist. My award-winning lifestyles features and essays have appeared in many national magazines and anthologies, including Newsweek, Reader's Digest, The Christian Science Monitor, Writer's Digest, Victoria, Better Homes & Gardens, Bella Grace, and more. My weekly Sunday "Life Lines" column ran for 14 years in The Daily Tribune (Royal Oak, MI) and won a First Place (Local Columns) award from the Michigan Press Association. My essay collection, Writing Home, includes 93 previously published columns and essays focusing on parenthood and family life.

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