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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Lately I’ve been thinking about communication — and what makes good communication. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had publishing jobs that required a lot of meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, one of my in-laws told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m much more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer to say less — or nothing — silence doesn’t help build relationships.…
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Watching what we say
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou While preparing for a personal essay workshop I’m coaching in September, I ran across some of my earlier notes about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are deliberately conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences; we don’t want to alienate them. The same is true when we’re talking with someone. Our tone of voice carries our intention, and everything we share out loud…
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What will you tolerate?
“I have insecurities and flaws, of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.” ~Adele I was lucky to be raised by folks who believed in positive reinforcement. They encouraged my interests and were generous with praise and compliments. And while my mother wasn’t particularly religious, her interpretation of the Golden Rule still resonates: “Treat other people the way you want to be treated.” She and my dad walked their talk — and I learned from their example. As a kid, I soon learned that not everyone was given the same operating instructions. I had to develop a thicker skin — especially when I…
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Can you walk in someone else’s shoes?
“We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other. It is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.” ~Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund In popular culture, we talk a lot about the importance of honoring our differences and celebrating our uniqueness. We want others to appreciate our flaws and quirks — or at least accept them — and respect our opposing points of view. We want the freedom to worship as we choose, the freedom to express ourselves, the freedom to choose our…
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Hit the reset button
“I need to take an emotional breath, step back, and remind myself who’s actually in charge of my life.” ~Judith M. Knowlton How many times have you suddenly realized you’re following patterns or routines that worked for a while, but aren’t serving you anymore? As creatures of habit, we tend to stay on the same beaten path, rarely stepping away from our comfort zone. We might keep buying the same brand of coffee, hanging out with the same people, walking the same route with the dog … or continually putting up with the same negative or disrespectful treatment from others. So maybe it’s time to shake things up. Time to…
