Friendship and relationship advice
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain There’s science to prove that flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive. Better yet, compliments can motivate us. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. In social situations, we’re also inclined to think positive thoughts about people who tell us we look nice or admire something we’ve done. Paying a sincere compliment is an act of generosity and it…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
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A matter of trust
“The most precious thing in this world is trust. It can take years to earn and only a matter of seconds to lose. It’s important to keep trust at the forefront of everything you do.” ~Lolly Daskal, for Inc. Last week, I heard Billy Joel’s “A Matter of Trust” on an oldies station. As coincidence would have it, I’d been thinking about “trust” and why it’s fundamental to all our relationships — whether we’re talking about romance, marriage, business, politics, friendship, or family ties. As today’s quote reminds us, trust is nearly impossible to repair when it’s betrayed or broken. Trustworthy people respect our stories and keep our confidences. Likewise, trustworthy…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip or betray a confidence. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I’m deeply grateful for trusted friends with whom I can speak “fearlessly” on any subject. As today’s quote suggests, we…
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An invitation
“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” ~David Whyte I love the way poet David Whyte reminds us that “real conversation” invites an honest exchange between people. But thanks in part to social media platforms, we often talk at each other — mostly about ourselves and our own interests. Every real conversation is an opportunity to learn something new about another person. When was the last time you were invited to share something about yourself? And how often do you ask others how they’re doing … and pause…
