Friendship and relationship advice
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Competition
“Inside the Great Mystery that is, we don’t really own anything. So, what is this competition we feel then, before we walk, one at a time, through the same gate?” ~Rumi Lately I’ve been thinking about competition. Is competition rooted in sibling rivalry or is it simply human nature? Do we compete because we lack something, feel inferior, or need validation? Is competition necessary for our survival? Do trophies and awards really matter? Are we all driven to win or outshine others? Growing up an only child, I learned that many folks — often those from larger families — expected me to be “spoiled” and stingy and attention-seeking. And so,…
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Owning our mistakes
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to justify them —…
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A short survival guide for grads
At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.” ~Paul Freund Like most moms, I spent years lecturing my child on the importance of working hard, eating healthy meals, writing thank-you notes, and ironing his dress shirts. But I neglected to impart other nuggets of wisdom along the way. As my dad used to say, earning good grades is important, but learning how to get along with people is even more important. That’s why I wrote the following list of graduation “survival tips” and shared them in my local newspaper column before my son…
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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Sitting it out
“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so that you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to you because they believe in your capacity to know their darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” ~ Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage Being human means you’re going to experience bouts of disappointment, anger, and sadness. Something happens that you can’t fix or change. Someone will say or do something that hurts or alienates you. Or you might say something insensitive and hurtful to someone else. As hard as we try to avoid emotional collisions, we…
