Communication
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More than words
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou It’s not just what we say that matters — but how we say it. While preparing for an essay workshop, I ran across some notes I’d made about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart and soul of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences. The same is true when we’re talking with someone. Our tone of voice carries our intention, and everything we…
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any connection. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
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Listening skills
“One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan I’ve always been interested in how communication impacts our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) He’s not one of those people who starts talking before you’ve finished what you’re trying to say. Listening carefully also improves your memory. When you focus on what someone is saying — and…
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How to Know a Person
“Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills.” ~David Brooks As author David Brooks sees it, so much of our current national angst results from the “fraying of our social fabric.” Put simply, we’ve forgotten how to talk with each other. And we’ve forgotten how to listen to each other. Many of us feel unseen and misunderstood. Worse yet, mental health statistics show that we’re feeling lonelier than ever. Social media may have given us more connections, but the quality of those relationships isn’t as satisfying as we’d hoped. In other words, posting messages and…
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Are you really listening?
“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Some folks are always thinking about what they want to say next — and not really listening to others. I notice this often on talks shows and discussion panels, and I’ve experienced it myself in daily conversations. Listening is an unsung, unspoken skill — and we can learn from those who do it well. Attentive listeners silence their own egos. They don’t try to hijack or dominate a conversation, and they don’t try to “top” anything you’ve just said. They ask thoughtful follow-up questions after you’ve had your say,…
