Civility and manners
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Receiving
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown A lot has been written about “the law of abundance,” which suggests that everything you give comes back to you somehow. In short, givers get more than takers. Frugality has its merits, but a generous spirit is rewarded with an abundant slice of life. Yet we don’t talk as much about receiving. This is where things can get tricky. For example, you might feel embarrassed if someone buys you an unexpected gift or does a great favor. You might stress over how to reciprocate. Or, worse yet, you might even take the…
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Are thank-you notes old-fashioned?
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward In one of her recent advice columns, Amy Dickinson (“Dear Amy”) said the largest percentage of her mail comes from baffled readers who are hurt or angry because they didn’t receive thank-you notes for their gifts. At the same time, many other readers who leave comments on her columns don’t believe it’s necessary to write thank-you notes now. One young bride said she didn’t have time to write thank-you notes for her wedding gifts because her life was “too busy.” (Never mind that she’d found the time to mail out invitations…
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Owning our mistakes
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Commentator William Saffire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to justify them —…
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Can we talk?
“I once worked with someone who would only listen for about 15 seconds before interrupting — and then it was only to say something about himself….No matter how long we actually spoke, he just linked whatever you said back to himself and what he wanted to talk about. This effectively ended the conversation.” ~Jack Thomas, Good Conversations Lately I’ve been fascinated by the topic of meaningful conversation and how it can enrich our relationships. With that in mind, I’ve been tracking down articles and books that explore the reasons why we’re losing the art of good conversation and what we can do about it. According to several behavioral scientists, we’ve…
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Herd mentality
“Sheep only need a single flock, but people need two: One to belong to and make them feel comfortable, and another to blame all of society’s problems on.” ~James Rozoff When I was a kid, my parents often discussed politics and watched talk shows featuring guests with opposing viewpoints. They subscribed to (and read) both local and national newspapers. The three of us enjoyed rehashing important issues around the dinner table, giving me an opportunity to learn what I thought and valued during those discussions. I was encouraged to develop my own opinions — even if they didn’t mirror those of my parents. Herd mentality was not encouraged. My folks…
