Civility and manners
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When silence is golden
“Tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” ~Angel Chernoff These days, I can barely stand to listen to political rhetoric, debates, or campaign speeches. Everyone has gotten so nasty; so cringe-worthy critical. Sometimes I’m tempted to turn away and risk being uninformed. But I know better. Often called “too sensitive,” I used to be devastated by criticism of any kind, whether it was directed at me or someone I cared about. Thanks to my freelance writing career, I’ve learned that constructive criticism — even rejection — can…
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Getting over ourselves
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~Rick Warren Socrates said that “the unexamined life” isn’t worth living. But self-absorption isn’t such a good thing, either. Self-absorption can be a symptom of living in fear or uncertainty — or spending too much time alone. And there was plenty of that going on during the first year of the pandemic. Thankfully, we’re finally stepping outside our comfort zones to renew our sense of community. When we stop obsessing over our own worries and problems, we open ourselves to others. We start paying attention to what’s going on around us — not just within us. It’s a big…
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The words we wear
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift “Watch what you say!” my mother used to scold. Like most kids, I wasn’t born knowing how to filter insensitive remarks. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. It’s our responsibility as adults to teach our kids social skills — including civility and diplomacy. There’s a delicate line between “candid” and “tactless,” after all. These days, too many grown-ups think it’s fine to blurt whatever comes to mind. Watch any political debate, and you’ll probably agree that most candidates have perfected the dubious art of the blatant insult. If words are…
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Thank you notes
““Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward “Does anyone still send thank-you notes, or is that an antiquated idea?” a reader asked. It’s a worthy question as we approach the season of gratitude and giving. Etiquette experts agree that a handwritten note of appreciation is “good form” any time you’ve received a gift, a special favor, or enjoyed someone’s hospitality. Likewise, in professional situations, including job interviews, sending a thank you note sets you apart from other clients and competitors. For a modern, updated spin on thank-you notes, check out this article on Emily Post Etiquette online. Yes,…
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A Thanksgiving conversation primer
“Real conversation can’t happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking.” ~Alan Alda Our social lives took a huge hit during the pandemic. We celebrated birthdays with drive-by parades, limited our holiday gatherings to small family bubbles, and even Zoomed memorial services. Now that our lives are back to near-normal, we look forward to gathering around our holiday tables with friends and family. We’re also rediscovering how to talk to each other after long periods of semi-isolation and social distancing. Not long after the pandemic eased, a friend confided that her social skills suddenly feel a bit “rusty” — especially when she meets new people at larger parties or work functions. No wonder.…
