Civility and manners
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Truth looks good on you
“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz Rumors and gossip and misinformation, oh my. Even though we know better, we might be tempted to share private information that we shouldn’t share. And even though we know better, we might spread misinformation without questioning the sources or researching the facts. Before you speak to someone or post anything on social media, it helps to question your own motives. What will you gain by spreading gossip or…
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Crossing the not-so-great divide
“Being nice to people you agree with can be a piece of cake, but if we’re only spending time around buddies who share our beliefs, we aren’t learning how to extend kindness and understanding to those who we don’t see eye to eye with. Practicing empathy across divides requires occasionally and willingly crossing those divides.” ~Rebekah Brandes, Nice News Last week I talked with another friend who’s on the verge of cutting ties with folks who don’t support her favored presidential candidate. If “the other candidate” wins, well, that’s the end of those relationships, she implied. Sadly, it’s not an uncommon conversation, given that we’re in the heat of the…
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Are you really listening?
“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Some folks are always thinking about what they want to say next — and not really listening to others. I notice this often on talks shows and discussion panels, and I’ve experienced it myself in daily conversations. Listening is an unsung, unspoken skill — and we can learn from those who do it well. Attentive listeners silence their own egos. They don’t try to hijack or dominate a conversation, and they don’t try to “top” anything you’ve just said. They ask thoughtful follow-up questions after you’ve had your say,…
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Receiving
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown A lot has been written about “the law of abundance,” which suggests that everything you give comes back to you somehow. In short, givers get more than takers. Frugality has its merits, but a generous spirit is rewarded with an abundant slice of life. Yet we don’t talk as much about receiving. This is where things can get tricky. For example, you might feel embarrassed if someone buys you an unexpected gift or does a great favor. You might stress over how to reciprocate. Or, worse yet, you might even take the…
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Are thank-you notes old-fashioned?
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward Several advice columnists have noted that a large percentage of their mail comes from baffled readers who are hurt or angry because they didn’t receive thank-you notes for their gifts. At the same time, other readers argue that it isn’t necessary to write thank-you notes now. One young bride said she didn’t have time to write thank-you notes for her wedding gifts because her life was “too busy.” Most etiquette experts agree that a handwritten note of appreciation is the right thing to do when you’ve received a gift, a special…
