Choices and decisions
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Adjusting our perspective
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou Whether I’m writing my own life stories or coaching others who are writing theirs, I’m amazed at how often we allow our experiences to define us. We might blame our suffering on bad luck (or someone else) and stop trying to improve the situation. Or we might label ourselves as “survivors” who had the courage to overcome a personal challenge or tragedy. Writing about our lives in a journal motivates us to take a closer look at how far we’ve come. We can view negative experiences from…
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
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Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective. Putting their own needs first, they hear only what they want to hear. They rarely question if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They’re often convinced that their beliefs and opinions are the Universal Truth — and can’t understand why other people are sometimes at odds with…
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The case for quality
“When you have deep friendships with good people, you copy and then absorb some of their best traits. When you love a person deeply, you want to serve them and earn their regard. When you experience great art, you widen your repertoire of emotions. Through devotion to some cause, you elevate your desires and organize your energies.” ~David Brooks, The Road to Character My husband and I are lucky to live within short driving distance of several fine art museums, world-class gardens, and historic sites, including Cranbrook House & Gardens. What a gift it is to spend an afternoon in the presence of beauty, creativity, and tranquility. Whether you’re wandering…
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Stop the insults
“Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” ~Walt Whitman Today’s advice from Walt Whitman got me thinking about things that “insult my soul” and make me cringe. Topping my list are filthy bathrooms in restaurants, along with vulgar and obnoxious political leaders. There are dozens of other odious behaviors that some of us tolerate, even when they’re long past their expiration dates. Maybe we cling to habits that harm our health. Maybe we keep allowing certain people to disrespect us, or take us for granted. Maybe we keep ruminating on old emotional pain or anger. Maybe we keep settling for less because we’re not convinced that we deserve better. Years ago,…
