Choices and decisions
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The case for quality
“When you have deep friendships with good people, you copy and then absorb some of their best traits. When you love a person deeply, you want to serve them and earn their regard. When you experience great art, you widen your repertoire of emotions. Through devotion to some cause, you elevate your desires and organize your energies.” ~David Brooks, The Road to Character My husband and I are lucky to live within short driving distance of several fine art museums, world-class gardens, and historic sites, including Cranbrook House & Gardens. What a gift it is to spend an afternoon in the presence of beauty, creativity, and tranquility. Whether you’re wandering…
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Stop the insults
“Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” ~Walt Whitman Today’s advice from Walt Whitman got me thinking about things that “insult my soul” and make me cringe. Topping my list are filthy bathrooms in restaurants, along with vulgar and obnoxious political leaders. There are dozens of other odious behaviors that some of us tolerate, even when they’re long past their expiration dates. Maybe we cling to habits that harm our health. Maybe we keep allowing certain people to disrespect us, or take us for granted. Maybe we keep ruminating on old emotional pain or anger. Maybe we keep settling for less because we’re not convinced that we deserve better. Years ago,…
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How to conquer stress
“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” ~Andrew Bernstein Change your thoughts, change your life. It’s a timeworn catchphrase, often overused by self-help authors, celebrity psychologists, and motivational speakers. But like every catchphrase, it contains a grain of truth. It’s easier to blame outside sources for everything that’s going wrong. But like it or not, each of us is individually responsible for resolving our own inner turmoil. Everyone has a list of things to worry about. And there are countless crises beyond our control. How we handle these challenges…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
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How to fix things
“Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~Maya Angelou Self-improvement involves effort as well as introspection. But when something is broken beyond repair, or a bad situation seems totally out of control, the best thing I can do is adjust my attitude. I can change how many calories I consume in a day, for instance, but I can’t change the weather report. Likewise, I can’t change the rude behavior of strangers, but I can make a bigger effort to practice courtesy and kindness wherever I go. I’ve wasted a…
