Choices and decisions
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You be you
“The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.” ~Marc & Angel Hack Life Some readers would never get caught browsing in the “self-help” section. It’s a lot cooler, after all, to tell people you’re reading the last of Thoreau’s essays or Shakespeare’s comedies while you’re finishing a good mystery novel. But I promise there’s some beneficial self-help material out there, in books and online. If, like me, you find that…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to preserve your dignity by kicking your mistakes under the rug and acting as if they never happened. Or blaming someone else. Or making excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and makes you look small. Worse yet, it could also damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity, class, and…
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How to conquer stress
“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” ~Andrew Bernstein Change your thoughts, change your life. It’s a timeworn catchphrase, often overused by self-help authors, celebrity psychologists, and motivational speakers. But like every catchphrase, it contains a grain of truth. It’s easier to blame outside sources for everything that’s going wrong. But like it or not, you alone are individually responsible for resolving your inner turmoil. Every person on earth faces health crises, job changes, painful losses, and road blocks. How you view your own — and how you view…
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How to fix things
“Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~Maya Angelou This is the time of year when I focus intently on fixing things I don’t like about myself, or things that aren’t working in my life. Self-improvement, after all, usually involves effort as well as introspection. But when something is broken beyond repair, or a bad situation is totally out of my control, the best thing I can do is adjust my attitude. I can change how many calories I consume in a day, for instance, but I can’t change…
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Adjusting our perspective
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou Writing my own life stories — and helping others write theirs — has been a lifelong fascination of mine. In the process, I’ve learned (and witnessed) how we often allow our experiences to define us. We might label ourselves as “survivors” who had the courage to overcome a personal challenge or tragedy. Or we might see our bad fortune as an excuse to throw a perpetual pity party. Writing about our lives (in a private journal or a workshop) motivates us to take a closer look at…
