approval seeking
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Are you putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson Like a lot of people who know better, I often put the needs, dreams, or wishes of others before my own. I allow myself to remain stuck in second place. Even if someone lets me off the hook and gives me “permission” to put myself first, I might feel guilty when I do so. It gets tricky sometimes, because I truly enjoy helping others, especially the people I love. I want to be generous, agreeable, and useful. Somewhere between…
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Random acts of authenticity
“Authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about your actions.” ~Jess Lively, The Lively Show Once in a while, it’s healthy to question our own motivation. How often do we take a beautiful photo that we don’t post on social media, or share with anyone else? How often do we create a work of art, write a story, or redecorate a room just to please ourselves? How often do we give generously of our time and resources without expecting acknowledgement or praise or something in return? How often do we do something just for the pure joy of doing so — not to get applause or approval or…
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Your own footsteps
“It’s not your job to curb or contain yourself in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are amazingly worthwhile and capable right now. Not because other people think you are, but because you are in full control of the next step you take.” ~Marc and Angel Chernoff When I was in college, several of my professors wanted me to consider law school. Becoming a lawyer was a more dependable and lucrative path for my writing and communication skills, they advised. At least more lucrative than working as a journalist. Law wasn’t my career dream, of course, and you wouldn’t be reading this today had…
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Knock, knock …. Who’s there?
“Not every person or opportunity that knocks on the door of your life should be let in.” ~Meggan Roxanne, Kushandwizdom.com In my early days of freelancing, new writers were advised to accept nearly any project that came our way. We had to build a portfolio and create a brand. Sometimes that meant writing free articles or giving free talks at local events. Occasionally, it advanced my career. But most of the time it only benefited the editors, publishers, and organizations with small budgets. Later, when I became a regular newspaper columnist, I was encouraged to answer all the mail I received from readers, which I did to please my editors.…
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Looking within or without?
“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~Anna Freud, psychoanalyst and daughter of Sigmund Freud The world of social media revolves around building our brand, getting “likes,” and attracting followers. In other words, it’s fueled on the concept of earning validation and applause from the outside. Or, look at it this way: Nobody uses a social media platform without hoping to attract or amuse an audience, even a small one. It’s not a solo activity. As any psychiatrist would tell us, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that. We can keep social media in a healthy perspective…
