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Selfish motives
“Almost every offensive action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.” ~Stephen Kendrick Sometimes I catch myself doing things that would annoy me if someone else did the same. Talking too much and forgetting to return borrowed books are just a couple of quick examples. I’m sure my family and close friends would offer a much longer list of aggravating things I do. Just ask. So, today’s quote got me thinking about why we’re slow to recognize our own bad behavior — but quick to notice offending behavior in others. Selfish motives keep us…
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Finding our way back home
“This is the bright home in which I live, this is where I ask my friends to come.” ~David Whyte “Home” is a small but expansive word. What does it really mean to make a home, to feel at home, or to be at home with oneself? At the same time, the buildings we call home reflect who we are, which is why inviting people inside our homes is an intimate gesture that extends beyond basic hospitality. My mother had a gift for creating beautiful homes, and I inherited her appreciation of the domestic arts. In a nursing facility near the end of her life, she was confined to a wheelchair and talked constantly…
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Complainers versus problem-solvers
“When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. Mentally healthy people avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD, The Five Keys to Interpersonal Success Are you a complainer or a problem-solver? According to behavioral research, if you spend a significant amount of time with complainers and doomsayers, you’re probably sporting a negative attitude, too. When complaining becomes the norm — at home, in the workplace, or in social circles — it’s hard to break the pattern. Negativity is as contagious as it is demoralizing. As renowned psychologist Susan Albers puts it, complaining is like a virus. It…
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Bad manners and social graces
“Sometimes, to have good manners means putting up with other people’s bad manners.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr. American author Emily Post advised that having good manners isn’t just a matter of using a dinner napkin or refraining from passing gas in public. Courtesy, she said, is all about being “sensitive to the feelings of others” and putting them at ease. Civility is another word for kindness in action. A lot of people have complained lately about the general increase in rude, insensitive behavior — on the road, in restaurants, in politics, in grocery stores, and even among friends. If we’re not careful, boorish behavior will become our cultural norm (if…
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Sitting it out
“No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so that you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to you because they believe in your capacity to know their darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.” ~ Brene Brown, The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage Being human means you’re going to experience bouts of disappointment, anger, and sadness. Something happens that you can’t fix or change. Someone will say or do something that hurts or alienates you. Or you might say something insensitive and hurtful to someone else. As hard as we try to avoid emotional collisions, we…
