Validation

“Just like children, our emotions heal when they are heard and validated.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey

Chances are, your favorite moments with a good book include reading a sentence or a paragraph that expresses what you feel and makes you reach for a highlighter — as if the author put your own feelings into the right words. That’s validation.

Likewise, I had lunch recently with a friend who’s a caring, first-rate conversationalist. She pays attention and listens with an open heart. As we talked, I shared my worries about a new medication my doctor had suggested for me. Coincidentally, my friend was dealing with a similar issue, and was able to calm my fears and validate my concerns.

Validation is key to every good conversation — spoken or written. To validate another person doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything they’re sharing. It means that we understand how they feel about the topic of discussion — without judging or advising or dismissing the topic. Validation makes us feel heard. ~CL