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Deep listening
“How often do you offer your undivided attention to others? Do you inquire into how they’re doing, what’s happening in their world, or what they need to feel safe and happy? Or are you quick to talk about yourself and see how others might serve you?” ~John Amodeo, PhD One of the hallmarks of a great conversationalist is the ability to listen. Ideally, when someone asks what you’ve been up to lately, you hope they’ll pay attention to your answer and ask follow-up questions. Too often lately, most people seem eager to shut you up, derail your topic, and reroute the conversation back to themselves. How often have you walked…
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Expectations
It’s never a bad idea to hold ourselves and others to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But extremely high (or unrealistic) expectations are sometimes followed by disappointment. One small example: How many times have you dined at a trendy new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if you expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, you’re bound to feel letdown at some point. Or, as Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t directly in line with what is available…
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Silly presents
“A friendship can weather most things, and it can thrive in thin soil. But it needs a little mulch of notes and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often, just to save it from drying out completely.” ~Pamela Brown A few years ago, after a painful surgery on my eyelid for skin cancer, a dear friend brought me a lovely “care package” that touched my heart more than words could express. I’ll never forget the morning she showed up at my door with that gift. That same friend was injured in an accident earlier this week, and as soon as I learned about it, I started shopping for a care package.…
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Being neighborly
“All will concede that in order to have good neighbors, we must also be good neighbors. That applies in every field of human endeavor.” ~Harry S. Truman Whenever I need company, I don’t have to look beyond my own neighborhood. Here, it’s easy to find enough friends to host a book club or a potluck, or meet for an impromptu lunch date. And there’s always someone willing to water your garden and gather your mail while you’re away. Over the years, we’ve gathered for graduations, weddings, block parties, Neighborhood Watch meetings, and funerals. We’ve built a community. “How do you know so many of your neighbors?” someone asked me recently. The…
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Keep it simple
“Simplicity is discerning the essential from the unessential. Simplicity is having room for the unexpected. It is savoring life. Most of all, simplicity is freedom: It’s freedom to choose what you want in your life because you’re not letting in everything that shows up.” ~Victoria Moran, Shelter for the Spirit Keep it simple? It sounds so much easier than it really is. Ours is a culture that promotes constant activity — which partly explains why some people panic at the mere thought of slowing down or having “nothing to do” on the weekend. In the past, most of the stress I’ve experienced has been the result of trying to accomplish too much…