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Look for the helpers
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” ~Fred Rogers As Mister Rogers reminded us, there’s always hope and healing wherever you find the helpers. Late last week, for instance, I had two minor emergencies (one more critical than the other) that sent me in search of medical help. Despite the stress of it all, I was amazed at how quickly two of my doctors were able to see me — almost immediately — when I called their offices for advice. I can’t begin to express…
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Life without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating eight years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of years ago, its message still applies today —…
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Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?
“We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other. It is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.” ~Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund In popular culture, we give lip service to the importance of honoring our differences and celebrating our uniqueness. It’s a noble theme in song lyrics, novels, speeches, and essays — but how’s that really working for us? Deep down, we want others to appreciate our own special attributes. We want to be respected for our opposing points of view. (We’re…
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You be you
“Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…
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Complainers versus problem-solvers
“When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. Mentally healthy people avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” ~ Joseph Sommerville, PhD, The Five Keys to Interpersonal Success Are you a complainer or a problem-solver? According to behavioral research, if you spend a significant amount of time with complainers and doomsayers, you’re probably sporting a negative attitude, too. When complaining becomes the norm — at home, in the workplace, or in social circles — it’s hard to break the pattern. Negativity is as contagious as it is demoralizing. As renowned psychologist Susan Albers puts it, complaining is like a virus. It…
