• approval seeking,  Garden tour,  Personal growth,  Photo stories

    You be you

    “Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…

  • Facebook,  Featured,  Friendship and relationship advice,  Oakland Press columns,  Where I'm published

    Why life is better without Facebook

    “The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating nine happy years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, spending more time with friends and neighbors, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of…

  • Politics,  Reputation

    What is integrity?

    “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” ~C.S. Lewis Lately I’ve been thinking about the word integrity. Growing up, I was taught to believe that integrity was a non-negotiable quality to expect in our leaders, whether we were talking about business, education, community groups, or government. Integrity was essential to consider when choosing my friends and life partner. It still matters to me today, more than ever. So what does integrity mean? Here’s how Merriam-Webster defines it: 1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility. 2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness. 3 : the quality or state of being…

  • Change and challenge,  Optimism,  Personal growth

    How to save the world

    “This is the way we save the world: one peaceful word, one act of compassion, one long sweet nap, one burst of laughter at a time.” ~Martha Beck, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World Consuming the news can make me feel hopeless and sad. And it doesn’t matter which newspaper, or which news station, has my attention at the moment. No matter how they spin it, there’s a lot of ugliness out there. I long for a new age of unity, peace, decency, and civility. I wonder if that’s even possible anymore. As Martha Beck notes in today’s quote, each of us can take small steps toward healing —…

  • Oakland Press columns,  Personal growth,  Where I'm published

    Social Skills 101

    “Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.” ~Dale Carnegie Years before Oprah made “life coach” a household term, my father followed the work of Dale Carnegie, one of America’s most prolific authors of self-improvement guides. Dad kept a well-thumbed copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People next to the wingback chair where he read nightly. Today, I believe Carnegie’s advice on how to be a great conversationalist and a thoughtful friend is among the best I’ve found. To read a column I wrote about this topic for The Oakland Press, please click here. Photo by Cindy La Ferle for MediaNews Group

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