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Expectations
It’s not a bad idea to hold ourselves — and others — to higher standards. Striving for “the best” is a worthy goal. But unrealistic expectations often result in disappointment. For instance, how many times have you tried a popular new restaurant, only to end up disappointed when your meals fell short of the rave reviews you’d read? At the same time, if we always expect more from other folks than they’re able to give, we’re bound to feel letdown at some point. As Anne Lamott put it, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Sometimes what we want isn’t available to us. Or what we expect to achieve — weight…
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You be you
“Forget popularity; focus on sincerity. Do what you do, not for applause, but because it is what is right for you. Practice respecting yourself and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.” ~Angel Chernoff, Marc and Angel Hack Life The word “popularity” still sends me back down Memory Lane to junior high school. And today’s quote from Marc and Angel got me thinking about the difference between sincerity and popularity. When we focus on being popular, we value the number of friends we have rather than the quality of their character, or their compatibility. Likewise, when we try to stay “on trend” with our creative projects, we risk lowering the quality…
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Why life is better without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating nine happy years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, spending more time with friends and neighbors, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of…
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What is integrity?
“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” ~C.S. Lewis Lately I’ve been thinking about the word integrity. Growing up, I was taught to believe that integrity was a non-negotiable quality to expect in our leaders, whether we were talking about business, education, community groups, or government. Integrity was essential to consider when choosing my friends and life partner. It still matters to me today, more than ever. So what does integrity mean? Here’s how Merriam-Webster defines it: 1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility. 2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness. 3 : the quality or state of being…
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How to save the world
“This is the way we save the world: one peaceful word, one act of compassion, one long sweet nap, one burst of laughter at a time.” ~Martha Beck, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World Consuming the news can make me feel hopeless and sad. And it doesn’t matter which newspaper, or which news station, has my attention at the moment. No matter how they spin it, there’s a lot of ugliness out there. I long for a new age of unity, peace, decency, and civility. I wonder if that’s even possible anymore. As Martha Beck notes in today’s quote, each of us can take small steps toward healing —…
