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Words and feelings
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou As the old adage goes, it’s not just what we say that matters — but how we say it. While preparing for an essay workshop I coached last month, I ran across some notes I’d made about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart and soul of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences; we don’t want to alienate them. The same is true…
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Believe in yourself
“What you believe yourself to be, you are.” ~Claude M. Bristol, The Magic of Believing World War I veteran Claude Bristol (1891-1951) was a pioneer of the positive thinking movement. He wrote The Magic of Believing to help his fellow veterans adapt to civilian life — yet it also resonated with others who struggled to overcome trauma, self-limiting patterns, or negative attitudes. Bristol was convinced that success in any realm depends on dedication, belief, and character. His philosophy explains how some people triumph over adversity while others remain stuck. In essence, Bristol’s “magic” was about unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. You are what you believe. You achieve what…
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Here and now
“I have lived large parts of my life in wonderful circumstances that I utterly failed to appreciate. Reasons to be happy were everywhere, but somehow I didn’t connect with them. It was as though I was eating but couldn’t taste the food. Finally, I’ve learned to celebrate the good while it’s happening.” ~Marianne Williamson The weather in northern Michigan was chilly and unpredictable while Doug and I were there last week. And just as we’ve learned to expect when we’re visiting off season in Glen Arbor, many of our favorite shops and restaurants were closed. Still, there’s something both restful and beautiful in the loneliness of our state’s northern landscape…
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Willing to stand out
“You’ve got to be willing sometimes to stand alone. You’ve got to be willing to piss some people off. You’ve got to be willing to look different. Sound different. Be different. And those are risks that many of us are not willing to take.” ~Iyanla Vanzant Human beings are wired to belong. We want to feel accepted by our family. We gravitate toward friends who share our lifestyle, moral standards, and viewpoints. We all need a tribe. Paradoxically, each of us also has a different set of experiences and personal opinions. As we mature, we value authenticity — and individuality — in ourselves and others. Do you feel safe when…
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Happiness and lower expectations
“There are two ways to be happy: Improve your reality or lower your expectations.” ~Jodi Picoult Have you ever expected more than someone else was able to give? Have you ever purchased something that didn’t turn out to be as cool as you’d thought it would be? Have you ever traveled to a place that was less amazing than others had described? As Anne Lamott wrote, “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.” Truth is, we can’t always bend reality to meet all of our wants and needs. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep reaching for the best. But sometimes it means that we need to accept or appreciate what’s good enough — and…
