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Enough is good enough
“Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?” ~ Brené Brown Raised by a perfectionist mother, I learned the perils of perfectionism early on. I set impossibly high standards for myself — even if someone else didn’t. Even when I accomplished something worthwhile, I never believed it was truly good enough. Taming this crippling perfectionism has been a lifelong mission, and I’ve written about it here. That’s why I was drawn to a new guide, How to Be Enough: Seven Life-Changing Steps for Self-Critics, Overthinkers, and Perfectionists, by Elle Hendrickson. And that’s why I chose it to be our November selection for the Blair Memorial Library’s Self-Help Book Club in Clawson. This book is…
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Putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson When I was younger, I often placed the needs and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Everyone else, it seemed, had better ideas or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even when I was overbooked with parenting duties or exhausted after caring for an elderly parent, I tried to make time for everyone who asked for it. Maturity has given me permission to put…
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Halloween people
“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” ~Stephen Graham Jones ** Note: Due to a system glitch, my recent Life Lines posts were sent to subscribers without photos. To view photos and posts you’ve missed this week, visit the Life Lines website here. Every year, I eagerly await the start of the spooky season, and usually start decorating on October 1st. For me, Halloween always stirs a cauldron of happy childhood memories — making costumes with my mom and trick-or-treating with my dad. Year later, I walked door-to-door with my own child and his friends on magical Halloween nights. In recent years, my…
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What really scares us …
“I’m not afraid of werewolves or vampires or haunted hotels. I’m afraid of what human beings do to other real human beings.” ~Walter Jon Williams Spooky season is here. Driving through our neighborhood this month, I’ve noticed block after block of homes decked out with creative Halloween decorations. I get a little thrill every time I spot a porch aglow with orange and purple lights or a family of skeletons gathered on someone’s front lawn. And in my email, I’m getting long lists of films to watch this season. From the witchy Practical Magic to classic Alfred Hitchcock thrillers and John Carpenter’s Halloween, there’s something for everyone. As today’s timely…
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Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective. Putting their own needs first, they hear only what they want to hear. They rarely question if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They’re often convinced that their beliefs and opinions are the Universal Truth — and can’t understand why other people are sometimes at odds with…
