Health & wellbeing
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Find your own shoe
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another. There is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” ~Carl Jung, psychiatrist and author There’s something called the theory of social comparison, which suggests that comparing and contrasting ourselves to our peers is key to our identity. Social comparison helps us form or solidify our values, preferences, and feelings of self-worth. If our friends or favorite celebrities are wearing a particular style, for instance, we’re likely to mimic or mirror it — whether we genuinely like it or not. This explains, in part, the dubious trend of spending top dollar for ripped jeans and painful footwear. Things get even more complicated…
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Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails define our limits and announce our boundaries. They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. Along these lines, emotional boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. While the internet serves as an invaluable communication tool,…
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Asserting vs bullying
“The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating people with respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways, in appropriate contexts.” ~ Nathaniel Branden, psychologist While most of us understand the concept, “assertiveness” isn’t always easy to practice. For some of us, being assertive can feel uncomfortable — even when it means standing up for ourselves or asking for what we deserve. On the other hand, sometimes we allow others to bully us or take advantage of our generosity.…
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Believe in yourself
“What you believe yourself to be, you are.” ~Claude M. Bristol, The Magic of Believing World War I veteran Claude Bristol (1891-1951) was a pioneer of the positive thinking movement. He wrote The Magic of Believing to help his fellow veterans adapt to civilian life — yet it also resonated with others who struggled to overcome trauma, self-limiting patterns, or negative attitudes. Bristol was convinced that success in any realm depends on dedication, belief, and character. His philosophy explains how some people triumph over adversity while others remain stuck. In essence, Bristol’s “magic” was about unleashing the power of the subconscious mind. You are what you believe. You achieve what…
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Here and now
“I have lived large parts of my life in wonderful circumstances that I utterly failed to appreciate. Reasons to be happy were everywhere, but somehow I didn’t connect with them. It was as though I was eating but couldn’t taste the food. Finally, I’ve learned to celebrate the good while it’s happening.” ~Marianne Williamson The weather in northern Michigan was chilly and unpredictable while Doug and I were there last week. And just as we’ve learned to expect when we’re visiting off season in Glen Arbor, many of our favorite shops and restaurants were closed. Still, there’s something both restful and beautiful in the loneliness of our state’s northern landscape…
