Friendship and relationship advice
-
The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
-
Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip or betray a confidence. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I’m deeply grateful for trusted friends with whom I can speak “fearlessly” on any subject. As today’s quote suggests, we…
-
An invitation
“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” ~David Whyte I love the way poet David Whyte reminds us that “real conversation” invites an honest exchange between people. But thanks in part to social media platforms, we often talk at each other — mostly about ourselves and our own interests. Every real conversation is an opportunity to learn something new about another person. When was the last time you were invited to share something about yourself? And how often do you ask others how they’re doing … and pause…
-
Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you enjoy books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your passion. And if you can’t find a group to join, start one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul. During the pandemic, most Americans spent too much time alone or in small family bubbles. While family can be good company, psychologists agree that spending time with folks outside your family circle helps broaden your perspective, improves your social skills, and is essential to your mental health.…
-
Trusted friends
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” ~Virginia Woolf English author Virginia Woolf often celebrated the gift of friendship in her books and diaries. She knew how precious it is to have a friend or two who will listen to our worries, hopes, and dreams. As Woolf observed, that level of trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often rooted in years of shared history, values, and experience — and thrives in the rich soil of mutual support. If you’re feeling down, reach out to a trusted friend. Consider the friendships that enrich and support you now — and put them on your gratitude list this weekend.…
