Friendship and relationship advice
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An invitation
“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” ~David Whyte I love the way poet David Whyte reminds us that “real conversation” invites an honest exchange between people. But thanks in part to social media platforms, we often talk at each other — mostly about ourselves and our own interests. Every real conversation is an opportunity to learn something new about another person. When was the last time you were invited to share something about yourself? And how often do you ask others how they’re doing … and pause…
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Group dynamics
“Find something that you are passionate about — and you’ll find a waiting kinship of people willing to unite for the cause.” ~Wes Adamson Whether you enjoy books, music, politics, knitting, or helping others, there’s a group of people out there who share your passion. And if you can’t find a group to join, start one yourself. Group energy is fuel for the soul. During the pandemic, most Americans spent too much time alone or in small family bubbles. While family can be good company, psychologists agree that spending time with folks outside your family circle helps broaden your perspective, improves your social skills, and is essential to your mental health.…
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Trusted friends
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” ~Virginia Woolf English author Virginia Woolf often celebrated the gift of friendship in her books and diaries. She knew how precious it is to have a friend or two who will listen to our worries, hopes, and dreams. As Woolf observed, that level of trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often rooted in years of shared history, values, and experience — and thrives in the rich soil of mutual support. If you’re feeling down, reach out to a trusted friend. Consider the friendships that enrich and support you now — and put them on your gratitude list this weekend.…
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How to get what you want
“Whatever you want emotionally, you have to start giving away.” ~Mary Karr In her best-selling memoir, The Liar’s Club, Mary Karr chronicles her troubled youth and descent into alcoholism. Published in 1995, the book’s raw emotional honesty and humor resonated with readers and topped the NYT bestseller list for a year. Now considered a classic, it’s often studied in memoir writing workshops. Karr’s quote issues a lifelong challenge: You must reach for what you want in your relationships; don’t wait for it all to come to you. If you’re looking for honesty and authenticity, be honest and authentic. If you want more love and attention, give more love and attention.…
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Don’t take them for granted
“Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise. Ironically, the more reliable you are, and the less you complain, the more likely you are to be taken for granted.” ~Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project Today’s quote stopped me in my tracks when I first read it in The Happiness Project. I believe there are better forms of “praise” than being taken for granted. Most people want to feel appreciated. And everyone wants to be seen, heard, or validated — which partly explains our cultural addiction to social media. While it’s a privilege to be a “reliable” presence in someone’s life, being taken for granted can make…
