Friendship and relationship advice
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The whole cookie
“Every healthy relationship is a feast of affection and giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.” ~Shannon Thomas It’s nearly impossible to be part of an extended family or any type of social group without experiencing a few relationships that are off-balance in some way. You know you’re in a one-sided relationship if you’re consistently making efforts for another person but getting only “crumbs” in return. Whole, healthy relationships make us feel seen, nurtured, and supported. They’re built on a balanced foundation of giving and taking. As today’s quote suggests, we’ll have more of these relationships if we offer our loving care…
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The heart of the matter
“To love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.” ~bell hooks While Valentine’s Day was originally designed to celebrate romantic love, the holiday has evolved to include our love for friends and family. Hallmark produces Valentine cards for everyone in your life, from siblings to parents to best friends. You can even buy a Valentine for your dog to give a loved one. Love is a wonderful thing. As medical experts advise, spending time with people we enjoy promotes longevity and supports mental health. Ideally, when we connect in person with others, we step outside of ourselves and our world expands. This week, think about…
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Open-hearted love
“We really have to understand the people we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step February is the month for posting thoughts about love. But I like to think of “love” as an all-encompassing word that wraps its meaning around more than romantic relationships. Love is the umbrella that shelters friendship and community. When we love our friends and neighbors, we want what’s best for them — not just ourselves.…
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When silence speaks volumes
“To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against, or one might believe that you support things you really do not.” ~Germany Kent As today’s quote suggests, silence can be misinterpreted. This got me thinking about a variety of complicated situations — including politics. (Don’t worry: I’m staying bipartisan here.) Recently, some friends and I agreed that when people refuse to discuss politics, we often assume that their beliefs and opinions don’t align with ours. Or maybe they don’t know us well enough to share their truth. Otherwise, they’d speak up, right? We could be wrong, of course. But speaking from experience, I’ve learned that others…
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The gift of your attention
“Nothing you can give will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without anticipation of the next event or what you’ll say next, is the ultimate compliment.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life As Christmas draws closer, I’m usually overwhelmed by holiday stress. Every morning, I wake up with a chorus of elves reciting a “to-do” list in my head: When are you going to finish your Christmas cards? What will you bring to the Christmas Eve party? What else do you need for the Christmas morning brunch you’re hosting? Have you overlooked anyone on your gift list? That’s…
