Friendship and relationship advice
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
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Magical thinking and rash assumptions
“If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly.” ~Elizabeth Thornton, Scottish author of historical fiction As every great magician knows, audiences interpret everything they see and hear through the filter of their own experience and beliefs. Sometimes they see and hear only what they wish to see and hear. It’s sobering, really, when you consider how easily any situation could be misjudged or misunderstood — or taken personally. For instance, you might wonder if friends are angry…
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Social studies
“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” ~Esther Perel, author and psychotherapist Yesterday, Doug and I toured the Ford Motor Company’s brand-new world headquarters in Dearborn with a couple of friends we’ve known since our college years. The grand opening of the building was crowded with attendees, making it hard to fully appreciate its impressive architecture. But the real highlight for me was spending the afternoon with our old friends. Lately I’ve been seeing more articles on the benefits of nurturing an active, in-person social life. Medical experts report that people who socialize regularly are healthier — and live longer. An active “social life” also includes…
- Creativity and discovery, Dr. Seuss, Friendship and relationship advice, Personal growth, Photo stories
The know-it-all trap
“It’s high time you were shown that you don’t really know all there is to be known.” ~Dr. Seuss When our grandson was four, he was an expert on a wide range of topics. Whenever we tried to share something new or teach a small lesson, his typical response was, “I already knew that.” It cracked me up every time. But the adult know-it-all isn’t as cute. You know the type: Every time you try to share fresh information, the know-it-all has already been there, seen it, or done it before. You can’t show or tell them anything new. They’re always on the lookout for opportunities to inform or one-up…
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Putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson When I was younger, I often placed the needs and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Everyone else, it seemed, had better ideas or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even when I was overbooked with parenting duties or exhausted after caring for an elderly parent, I tried to make time for everyone who asked for it. Maturity has given me permission to put…
