Friendship and relationship advice
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“I’m truly sorry”
“Sorry doesn’t take things back, but it pushes things forward. It bridges the gap. Sorry is a sacrament. It’s an offering. A gift.” ~Craig Silvey Mistakes were made. Columnist and speech writer William Safire once described the phrase as “a passive-evasive way of acknowledging an error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.” In other words, “Mistakes were made” isn’t a real apology. As today’s quote reminds us, a real apology is an offering. An apology shows that you accept your responsibility for a mistake, which elevates you in the eyes of the person you’ve hurt. On the other hand, making excuses for your errors — or trying to…
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Why compliments count
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain We all know a few people who rarely pay a compliment. They might be worried about appearing insincere, or maybe they’re a little envious of others. But there’s science to prove that flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that people respond positively to flattery — even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive. Better yet, compliments can motivate us. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. In social situations, we’re inclined to…
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What do you take for granted?
“We never know the worth of water until the well is dry.” ~Thomas Fuller, English historian, 1608 – 1661 The opposite of feeling grateful is taking someone or something for granted. Anything worth keeping needs our time, care, and attention — because nothing we have is truly guaranteed. You might want to try an exercise I’ve used in my journaling classes: Make a list of everything and everyone you value and would hate to lose. For instance, do you maintain and appreciate the items you own at home and rely on daily? Are you grateful to have a job or are you just putting in your time? Do you assume…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip or betray a confidence. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us avoid discussing hot-button topics — especially if we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. Today I’m feeling especially grateful for the trusted friends with whom I can “speak fearlessly on any subject.” As today’s…
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The remedy for loneliness
“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh By now, you’ve read the news reports citing loneliness as a health crisis in America. According to medical experts, the lack of in-person social activity leads to serious outcomes, including heart disease, dementia, and diabetes. Ironically — despite our many social media connections — Americans aren’t fully engaging with others in reciprocal, three-dimensional ways. Relationships are built on initiation and effort. Too often, we hang back in silence and wonder why we’re bored or lonely or overlooked. All too often, we wait for others…
