Communication
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What does that remark say about you?
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift Human beings aren’t born knowing how to filter unkind thoughts. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. But if we’re lucky enough to grow up among responsible adults, we learn some basic social skills — including civility, tact, and diplomacy. These days, too many adults think it’s fine to blurt whatever pops into their heads. Political leaders, in particular, have mastered the craft of the blatant insult. If speech is the “clothing of our thoughts,” as today’s quote suggests, it follows that boasting, name-calling, and crude remarks all reflect the character…
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Confiding
“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.” ~Dinah Craik, British novelist It’s always wise to weigh our words carefully before we speak. We don’t want to spread harmful gossip or betray a confidence. We don’t want hurt or offend anyone. And given today’s volatile political climate, most of us avoid discussing hot-button topics when we’re unsure of someone else’s viewpoints. That said, I’m deeply grateful for trusted friends with whom I can speak “fearlessly” on any subject. As today’s quote suggests, we…
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Love and struggle
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It’s an active noun, like ‘struggle.'”~Fred Rogers All relationships evolve, change, and reshape themselves. In the early stages, we tend to idealize a new romantic partner as well as our new friends. But eventually we learn that no one can meet our expectations all of the time. The longer we know a person — and the more we grow — the more likely we’ll encounter conflicts and disappointments. Sometimes we’re called to face a crisis together. And sometimes we need extra support to handle a problem of our own. Fragile relationships won’t withstand the challenge — but the durable ones will. As Fred…
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More than words
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou It’s not just what we say that matters — but how we say it. While preparing for an essay workshop, I ran across some notes I’d made about the importance of “voice and tone” in our writing. Since most personal essays are conversational, our job as writers is to draw readers into the heart and soul of our stories. We want others to relate to our experiences. The same is true when we’re talking with someone. Our tone of voice carries our intention, and everything we…
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Communication skills
“Lack of communication leaves fear and doubt.” ~Kellan Lutz Good communication can strengthen any connection. Staying in touch, sharing how we feel, and expressing interest in the lives of others can go a long way toward building solid relationships. I’m an over-communicator by nature and by trade. After college, I had jobs that required meetings and follow-up phone calls. Later, as a newspaper columnist, my career was all about talking to people in print. (Early in my marriage, an in-law told me I “talk too much.”) But after years of living among both chatterboxes and quiet people, I’m usually more comfortable with the chatterboxes. While some folks believe it’s safer…
