Civility and manners
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Listening skills
“One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan I’ve always been interested in how communication impacts our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) He’s not one of those people who starts talking before you’ve finished what you’re trying to say. Listening carefully also improves your memory. When you focus on what someone is saying — and…
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How we see things
“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”~Anais Nin, memoirist We humans view everything through the lens of our personal experience, which includes our upbringing and education, where we’ve lived, and the people who form our tribe. Things get tricky when we encounter others who see things differently than we do. Whenever I’m offended, annoyed, or angered, I usually adopt a self-righteousness attitude. But that’s when I need to pause and consider the reasons behind another person’s offending actions, according to David Brooks in How to Know a Person. (Click on the previous link for my review of the book.) And that’s when a little…
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The choices we make
“Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. We are what we choose to be.” ~Graham Brown We make choices every day. A choice can change lives — because every choice has a ripple effect. This applies to everything from the products we purchase to the political candidates we elect. Likewise, the friends we choose have a powerful influence on our habits, beliefs, and even our reputation. Or, to paraphrase an old proverb, “You are not responsible for what your friends do, but you will be judged by the company you keep.” This applies to personal as well as business relationships. How…
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A little encouragement
“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” ~Dave Willis The hilarious mug in today’s photo is a birthday gift that I’ve been enjoying ever since I unwrapped it. I never thought of myself as a “badass,” but I break into a smile each time I fill it with morning coffee. It’s a small reminder of how good it feels to be encouraged, especially on gloomy days like this one. Note to self: Find ways to encourage others who might need an extra boost too. After all, everybody’s muddling through the start of an unpredictable year. All of us carry a load of worries and problems along with our…
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How to handle bullies
“When you set healthier relationship standards in your life, some people will take it personally. That’s their issue, not yours. The distance you need isn’t against them; it’s for you. It’s a boundary, not a grudge.” ~Steve Maraboli Lately I’ve been thinking about bullying and how it seems to have replaced civility as a social norm. I’m not on board with this. Bullying isn’t limited to the school playground or the political arena. Whether we’re working, socializing, or driving, we might encounter a few bullies — men and women who don’t play fair. Bullies aim to have the upper hand in a variety of ways, a few of which aren’t…
