approval seeking
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Gold stars
“Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to give myself a gold star for being ordinary, and maybe one of these days I’ll give myself a gold star for being extraordinary — for persisting. And maybe one day I won’t need to have a star at all.” ~Sue Bender, Plain and Simple Stars are shining everywhere this time of year. In our early grade school years, teachers rewarded our best efforts with gold star-shaped stickers. Remember the delicious rush of achievement you felt every time your test came back with a bright gold star at the top? No matter how old we are, most of us still strive for…
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Courage, kindness, and lawn signs
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” ~Rumi Last month, I retrieved a nonpartisan lawn sign from my garage and placed it near the side entrance of our home. The sign, shown above, simply encourages us to “BE KIND” — a gentle piece of advice we could all use during a terribly divisive election season. But until last week, I swore I wasn’t going to display a sign for a presidential candidate on my lawn this year. I had dozens of reasonable excuses for that decision, starting with the fact that I didn’t want to offend my neighbors with opposing viewpoints. I…
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Looking within or without?
“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~Anna Freud, psychoanalyst and daughter of Sigmund Freud The world of social media revolves around building a brand and attracting followers. It’s not a solo actvity. Few people I know use social media platforms without hoping to attract, entertain, inform, or provoke an audience, even if it’s just a small one. Without question, it’s fueled by the reward of earning “likes,” validation, and constant attention. As any psychiatrist would tell us, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that — especially if we’re using social media to build community in positive…
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So, the dog ate your homework?
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony, Beyond Positive Thinking Excuses, excuses. It wasn’t my fault …. It was the wine talking …. I came from a dysfunctional family …. Someone gave me bad advice …. The dog ate my homework. When we make a mess of things or miss the mark, it’s tempting to reach for an easy excuse. We might try to save face by placing the blame on someone or something else — even when we know that we’re responsible for our own mistakes. In today’s quote, psychologist Robert Anthony shines a light on the blame game. He reminds us…
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Whose life?
“Whose life are you really living, yours or the one somebody prefers for you?” ~Vanita Oelschlager, Write with Me By the time we reach middle age, we’ve established our own preferences and routines. We’ve made some difficult choices; traveled a few paths. And we’d like to believe we’re original thinkers who’ve crafted our own opinions as well as our own unique style. In reality, each of us is a combination of influences — parents, siblings, partners, relatives, teachers, priests or preachers, peers, educational history, and popular culture. Which partly explains why we’re attracted to some things and repelled by others. Who and what are your strongest influences? Which ones inspire…
