approval seeking
-
Second helpings
“That thing that you are obsessing about — no one else is obsessing about it with the same intensity as you are. People are thinking about themselves. Remember that, and move through your day.” ~Gretchen Hydo Ages ago, I had a college room mate who was too shy to get back in line for second helpings at meal time. She worried that other students in the cafeteria would judge her for overindulging. Enabler that I was, I often returned to the line to fetch a second omelette or slice of chocolate cake for her. As today’s quote reminds us, other people are usually preoccupied with their own thoughts and their…
-
No comparison
“When you are content to be yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” ~Lao Tzu Ours is a culture of competition. We have televised sports 24/7 — not to mention countless game shows, dancing and singing competitions, and cooking and baking contests. Whatever you like to do, there’s probably a trophy for it. There’s another team to conquer; another score to beat. To be your best, you gotta top somebody else. It’s all fun and games, of course — unless we take it too seriously. Comparing and competing can be toxic. If we’re constantly trying to outperform someone else, we might lose track of what makes each…
-
“Sweet Darkness”
“You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in.” — David Whyte Many of you told me how much you enjoyed the post featuring Mary Oliver’s “Invitation” this week — so I’ll continue our celebration of National Poetry Month with an old favorite. Sometimes the right poem can work its magic immediately. And sometimes it depends on what you’re going through at the time you read it. David Whyte’s “Sweet Darkness” is one such poem for me. Revisiting it today, I am struck this time by the sheer power of its last three lines. This heart-stopping poem reminds us that loneliness could be an invitation to…
-
Are you feeling stuck?
“You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.” ~Abraham Maslow This is the time of year when we’re most likely to feel stagnant or mired in routine. The calendar tells us it’s spring, but the weather isn’t cooperating yet. Cabin fever aside, we can feel stuck any time of the year. For instance, we might keep making the same recipes for dinner because we’re not inspired to find new ones. Or we might feel stuck in the house when we can’t summon the energy to initiate plans with friends. Likewise, we can feel stuck if we don’t speak our minds because we’d rather appear…
-
Get comfortable
‘People aren’t longing to be impressed. They’re longing to feel like they’re home. If you create a space full of love and character and creativity and soul, they’ll take off their shoes and curl up with gratitude, no matter how small, no matter how undone, no matter how old.” ~Shauna Niequist, quoted in Bella Grace Most of us spend too much time trying to make things perfect — especially when we’re getting ready to entertain. Maybe we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that a home should always look worthy of a magazine shoot or an Instagram series — and we’re ashamed if ours doesn’t. “I’d never have company if I thought…
